Everything You’re Not

June 16, 2009 in Growing · Follow Me on Twitter

genius

… is a waste of your time.

I used to think I could be anything I wanted to be. But in reality I knew that made no sense. Now I know why. You can’t be anything you want to be.

No matter how hard I try, some things I just don’t excel in. Some things come harder to me. Well, ‘who cares’?

Society has long emphasized that we focus on and improve on our weaknesses. Just think of all the heart-wrenching American underdog films that exist. There’s Rudy (the movie tagline? “When people say dreams don’t come true, tell them about Rudy”), Dodgeball (”a true underdog story”), and the yearly (monthly?) movie about a struggling baseball/football/basketball team.

Granted, it’s heartwarming when someone overcomes a lack of talent. But besides that, what’s the point? Why spend countless hours focusing on what you aren’t good at?

Why not just focus on your strengths?

You are valuable because of what you do well, what you excel in, what your talents are, not what is hard for you. Perfection is overrated and impossible.

The key to personal development is building on who you already are. There is extraordinary room for growth there.

As Dr. Martin Seligman author of Authentic Happiness notes, “you cannot be anything you want to be – but you can be a lot more of who you already are.”

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  • I agree. Our tendency is to focus on our weakness. But on hindsight, it's hard to know what our strengths are because they appear so natural and easy for us.

    It will take time of working with other people and observing oneself before we discover our strengths. The Kolbe Strengths Finder also helps - www.kolbe.com
  • Charles,

    You are so right. It is very hard to identify our own strengths and
    exactly for the reason you stated, because they seem so natural and
    easy that they almost go unnoticed. But a little introspection and the
    aid of a book such as, What Color Is Your Parachute, or
    StrengthsFinder 2.0, can help in the process. I'm not familiar with
    the Kolbe Strengths Finder but I will certainly take a look.

    Thanks for sharing,

    Tara
  • Tara,
    I think one challenge is delegation. It is hard to hand off work when you want it done well. Liz has some interesting posts on that-
    http://www.successful-blog.com/
    Another challenge is finding your strengths. That takes being honest in community and letting other people speak into your life. But when we find what we are really good at and our purpose, watch out! We can change the world.
    Cheers.
  • Oh, I agree, Tim. Delegation is difficult. As is identifying your strengths... okay, I think identifying your strengths is harder. It is certainly no simple task to dig deep within your Self, silence the fear and acknowledge your talents.
  • I had a business/work profile done through Wealth Dynamics and to my sort-of surprise I was a supporter/sales type personality - and here I was trying to function in a mechanic/accounts role... it doesn't work.

    The more I grow into my passion the more I'm finding out my weaknesses or lack of passion towards certain tasks, so now I'm focusing on doing those jobs less and letting the experts who do love to do these jobs get on with it.

    Just watched this TED talk which sums it up nicely; http://www.ted.com/talks/richard_st_john_success_is_a_continuous_journey.html
  • Oh! Thanks for the link.

    That is an important lesson that you have shared, Stephen. What you
    don't excel in, leave to someone who does. I know as independent
    business owners we want to do everything ourselves but the bottom line
    is it is more value to ourself and our business if we focus on our
    strengths, and hire others to compliment our weaknesses.
  • jen
    Thanks for reiterating this. It is nice to be well rounded, but if I love to write and am bad at math, shouldn't I be a writer and not a mathmatician. Imagine if we said, "Oh, I know you love this guy more, you feel amazing around him, you have a great relationship, but you should marry this guy over here who you have nothing in common with and see if you can make it work!" Insane. Thanks.

    jen
    http://www.bodaweightloss.com/blog
  • A perfect comparison. We look for shared values and interests in
    partners, not for conflicting and difficult dynamics.
  • "Be a lot more of who you already are."

    Excellent and concise. No mumbo jumbo analytics... love it!

  • Thanks, Joann. I think for too long we have been told to improve on
    our weaknesses, to focus on them, when a much better use of time ---
    and an activity that would garner us much more happiness -- would be
    improving on what we do well and love.
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