Being Spiritual in a Religious World

July 1, 2009 in Conscious Living · Follow Me on Twitter

Parzival - Returning from the other Side (Matrix)

I don’t practice a religion, unless you consider Christmas a religion. I was baptized Anglican but as soon as I could make my own decisions, I determined Christianity was not for me. I’ve never liked being told what and how to think about things. And God is a big one.

Flash forward 10+ years later and I find myself madly in love with a Jewish man. We love each other passionately but we are told that it can’t work, it won’t work and that our life together will be too hard.

Confusing

We hear it from the very religious and the somewhat so. Our love will not survive the chasm that is religion. We are too different. And our children will suffer because of it. It makes you question your Self, but only for a moment.

In these conversations, we weren’t treated as individuals, as people who have a choice as to whether religion had a place in our lives. It’s always assumed that he identifies with the label “Jew” and I with “Christian” and that one of us must and is giving up our beliefs in support of the others. 20 to 0, I am asked if I am converting to Judaism.

You Don’t Understand

Neither of us feel the need to explain our life choices but when we find ourselves in discussions related to religion, we must preface them with statement that we are not religious. For it is the tendency of humans is to project their ego in another person’s situation and make a judgment, without recognizing that their perspective and views differ and thus they can try but can’t truly understand it.

I don’t try and understand why one chooses religion, just as another should not try and understand why I do not. Our points-of-view and life experiences are different.

When did ‘God’ and ‘religion’ become synonymous?

I am aware that the statement, “I don’t believe in religion” is a powerful one. But it is also a simple one. It doesn’t mean I don’t believe in God, or that I don’t believe we are each souls, it simply means that I don’t believe religion is necessary in order to be one with God.

I believe in spirituality. I believe in our power to create our own God. I believe that God resides in each of us and it’s our choice if we honour him in a way that is true to us.

This is what I  believe as the “Christian”. And what Daniel believes as the “Jew”.

The Point

It’s about goodness in action. Be in the moment and act compassionately.

photo credit: h.koppdelaney

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  • Nicely expressed.
  • Thanks, Sean.
  • Dear Tara,
    Being Jewish is a great blessing as it is being Christian, Baha'i or Hindu. The term religion comes from the Latin word 'religare' which means 'to reconnect'. In this case, to reconnect with the Source. It is not a bad word and it can go hand in hand with spirituality as well. It's just like a knife that can either make food for our sustenance or kill. It's neither good or bad, but how you use it. I believe that when we close ourselves to an either 'black or white' sort of view, we also become radicals and close minded, even if it is a leftist position - for lack of a better term. I love being Jewish and I've found a whole bunch of answers in Kabbalah, the Jewish prayers and deep Jewish thinking. My husband is not Jewish and we have a beautiful and very spiritual relationship. It is possible to co-exist and to respect each other. The key is to remember to respect each other's positions, without imposing our own.
    Blessings!
  • Ana,

    Thank you so much for taking the time to share your perspective and
    insights on religion and spirituality. It is inspiring to learn that
    you have made space for your own religion and spirituality in your
    relationship with your husband. I can't agree more that the key to co-
    existing is maintaining respect for another's position. That is what
    Daniel and I felt was so difficult when we first partnered, the lack
    of respect showed towards our individual decision to not have religion
    be a focal point of our life or our relationship. As you also stated,
    being too leftist about religion and dismissing it outright is just as
    'black and white' thinking as being too traditional, and I do hope I
    didn't give you that impression. Religion can be a beautiful thing, I
    simply haven't found a place for it in my life. Despite my desire to
    not practice a religion, my husband and I work to maintain a balance
    between our personal and varied views on religion, the various
    religious traditions we wish to uphold and those varied religious
    values of our family and friends. Like you so wisely stated, it's all
    about respecting the positions of others, and being true to your needs
    without imposing them on others.

    Thank you so much for the thought-provoking comments!
  • i just found your website, so I'm a little late to the party...but this entry so freakishly parallels my experience, i had to comment. i was raised presbyterian, but have not engaged in organized religion as you said "since i could make my own decisions." last year i married a jewish man (whose middle name is daniel!), who is actually VERY RELIGIOUS in most people's definition of the term. he is currently getting a master's in jewish studies, attends services regularly, and attempts to live a jewish lifestyle.

    and we are VERY happily married. but everyone we have ever met has made some assumption about this aspect of our relationship, and most have been quite vocal about their assessment. i am so glad that i have come to a place in my life where i am completely secure with my feelings related to God, religion, spirituality...and the wide spectrum of definitions this subject includes. to see my ramblings on the issue, check out a recent post about death: http://jodiekim.blogspot.com/2009/09/discovery-8.html
  • Jodie,

    It is so great to meet you and to know your story. It is beautiful
    that you and your husband are so compassionate towards each others
    beliefs. I very much like your blog's title: The Year of Discovery.

    It seems that we also share a passion for travel. Crazy Beautiful
    Life. A perfect way to put it.

    I look forward to connecting with you more.
  • Words of wisdom that that are peacefully written. Religion and spirituality are not one in the same. Thank you for writing this post so beautifully.
  • My sincere pleasure, Laura. It just poured out.
  • I was raised as a Catholic and really knew nothing; I was rather loyal. Until I was a senior in high school and was told that a divorce meant that you would be excommunicated and you could never re-marry in the church. There were no 'what if's and the priest/teacher found frustration is trying to 'make' us understand that God felt the way he (the priest) did. We just couldn't accept his rhetoric and that was a turning point for me.

    I just turned 55 and have been an interfaith Minister for almost 10 years now. Honoring the parts of all faiths that are held in Joy, Peace and Love is the way I live and spend each day, even if I'm in a boring 9-5 job with people who are very religious. I have some of the most interesting conversations; they don't always end up in agreement.

    The world is changing quickly in a huge way to embrace Love instead of standing on the principle of a religion that was created by men. Most religions have many rules and regulations that limit Life and make it seem as God is not All Love. God is not vengeful, nor Christian, nor Jewish, nor Muslim. God is All, Love.

    Our religious upbringing will effect our lives as much as our ethnicity and whether we lived in a city or the suburbs, if we walked to school or took the trolley. Religious residue may have left a stain, but it doesn't have to ruin us or run our lives. We can take that which resonates with our souls and live that; that is what every religion has done, so why don't we.

    Your Love will grow as you desire. No one can design your lives together. I wish you happiness no matter what your choices are.

    Namaste.
  • Susan,

    Thank you for sharing your story and for your inspiring thoughts. Your
    words "Most religions have many rules and regulations that limit Life
    and make it seem as God is not All Love." really spoke to me and
    helped me to identify that this was what initially turned me away from
    religion as a child. I wanted no restrictions on living my life to the
    absolute fullest. And thus, as you so beautifully put, I took that of
    Christianity that resonated with my soul and lived that.

    Thank you for your support and thoughtful words, Susan.
  • Heh. I get that too. One friend calls me a "jack jew". I'm technically Jewish, but have never practiced beyond lighting the Menorah and playing with a plastic dradle. We celebrated Christmas more doggedly.

    From reading Siddhartha, Alan Watts from a young age, having been encouraged by my dad who teaches Eschatology to explore, G'od, contraction for "good", is everything, all Life. We are individuations of that Life, exploring itself.

    That's why I don't really care about what people say or ask. I just chuckle. Labels are so stupid. Categories largely pointless in the moment.

    Is as does.

    Peace.
    @vinylart

    p.s. no worries about the contest. I'd rather not have an entry than have a bad one, (like a couple I did get). :)
  • Beautifully put, Daniel.
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