The Space Between the Umms…

Dear Tara,

You did well on/for your first public, professional speech!

As for the “umm…”, I'd dare suggest a moderately slow, deep breath instead, which has the benefit of focusing the mind. With some practice, the “umm” will be solved. You can of course practice at home/office and video record the mock speeches.

Don't worry that much about this, however, and enjoy!

You did well, I sincerely liked it, and I'm sure you'll do even better in the future!

:-)

I quite enjoyed your speech, for someone doing their first I thought you did extraordinarily well.

From a technical point of view I wouldn't know where to begin in removing the umms. I'm sure there would be some technique that voice coaches or speech therapists would get you to use and they would work fine.

Tim from http://greenplanetfm.com spends hours editing all the umms out of the interviews that he does every week.

He says that almost every interview goes the same way, it takes about 40-45 minutes for the interviewee to get out of their head and into their heart. Once they've achieved this the good stuff starts to come out.

I know this to be true from the two radio interviews I've done myself.

Relax, you're doing just fine.

Liviu,

*Sigh* if only taking slow, deep breathes were so easy for me in
situations like this. I know it is the answer but I wonder first how I
can get into the headspace where I can be conscious that I need to
slow down and breathe. That awareness in the moment is what I seem to
have trouble with. I am sure it has much to do with my
uncomfortableness with being in the public but you are right, it
simply take practice. How can I expect to be good at something I have
only done once? I often expect far too much from myself.

Thank you for the support,

Tara

Stephen,

I really appreciate the perspective you have given me with your story
about Tim from Green Planet FM. It's nice to know that the curse of
the umms… is not one that I bare alone;) I completely identify with
his observation that it takes 40-45 min for someone to feel
comfortable and just be in a public presentation situation like that.
I could see myself becoming more at ease as my presentation
progressed. Call it getting into the groove or getting out of my head.

Please don't get me wrong though, I am very proud of my presentation
– I am just aware that I need to find a way to be more at ease in the
moment. It makes the message all the more powerful if I can succinctly
say it and with confidence. But I do realize this was my first time
and practice is necessary, so I am trying to be easy on myself and
simply look at it as an area for improvement.

I am so grateful for your support,

Tara

I simply love what you are doing!

Thank you, Yvonne. I so appreciate you taking the time to share your
support with me.

I look forward to following you on Twitter.

Tara, dear Tara, I really feel for you! But I also think you're being too hard on yourself. You're an INFP, aren't you? I'm an INFP, with a strong preference for intrapersonal communication as opposed to interpersonal, but ten years ago I decided I wanted to become a teacher. Oh my gawd ….. I was terrified about speaking in front of groups, particularly the uninterested teenagers I was allocated from Day One.

I scripted everything I thought I would have to say in class, and rehearsed the whole lesson over and over in my head the night before I taught. I spent absolutely hours on planning at first, as I had to examine and assess every little thing I was going to set them to do, and how I was going to explain it. I scruitinized my lessons, my self and my performance in front of the class.

It was really hard work. And I ummed a lot in the first year. And my mentor and Head of Department regularly commented on my speaking manner in their observations of my lessons (which were done regularly), but it was just the best way to learn. One day, when the nerves have begun to subside, you realize that you can stand aside and observe yourself. You can rest in the spaces, and breathe slowly, even find time to think and frame what you are going to say before you speak it.

But the long and the short of it is, this only comes with practice. And the whole process isn't speeded up any by berating or criticizing yourself. You have got to be really gentle with yourself, and just keep getting back up there. If it's something you really want to crack, sign up for doing it regularly, or volunteer to teach some classes at adult ed.

Best of luck to you. You will get there in the end, because you are intuitive and perceptive, not in spite of it.

Wow. That was very eye opening, Samantha. Thank you. I appreciate you
sharing your story with me. You are so right that it takes practice, I
need to be more forgiving of myself. I expect a lot and I'm harsh when
I don't deliver what I expect of myself. Despite the umms… I was
very proud of how I did.

I appreciate the affirmation on my more introspective personality and
I do wish to improve, so I will be thinking of ways for me to practice.

So nice to hear from you, Samantha. I hope you are well.