silly

I am so guilty of it. I convince myself that certain things matter when they don’t. I put intense pressure on myself for minute tasks.

I write this blog for free. I have no editors to answer to and no one relying on me to produce. But the day I got my first subscriber – and each day that has proceeded that – I’ve felt that I have you relying on me. You took the step to subscribe or revisit and I feel that it’s my duty to create value for you.

That’s where the trouble begins

I’ve now created unnecessary pressure on myself. I’ve now created a scenario where I feel that I owe you something. I’ve replaced writing for pleasure with writing under duress.

But there I go taking myself too seriously, thinking that of the 10’s, 100’s, 1000’s of blogs you read that you are waiting there, with bated breathe, for my next musing. I know, get real.

I love my readers but for god’s sakes, I write for me and I need to remember that. No one cares as much as I do.

But I wonder, why do we elevate our own importance? What does it do for our Self?

photo credit: B Rosen

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  • Amen! I feel the same way... Feel like I might be self-editing too much, or too little. How much to reveal, and how much to keep under wraps. Obsessing over minutiae because it takes me away from tackling the bigger issues that frighten me. Fear of success can be a real bitch sometimes, no?

    PV
  • PV,

    I hadn't even thought of it like that (fear of success)... but that is
    exactly what it is. It more fun to be anonymous... hold your cards
    close to the chest... but I suppose it's fear that ultimately makes me
    do it. Interesting...
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