It is a way of being that prevents connection. It is presenting a false story about myself and my life in order to control others perception of me. It's a form of marketing or more specifically advertising, and it's neither mindful nor empowering. While in my pretense, I'm not valuing my contributions fully nor am I fully valuing the contributions others. I am not being honest about who I am. I am determining certain elements of me are better and more desirable. How does it ...
Our Inner Critic
A reflection of our disdain for authority in our own life. The things our critic says are likely things we heard from an authority figure. Things we did not agree with — but heard anyway. Things that once were someone else's ideas about us, that have now become our own.
Love and Esteem
What if these two things were created equal? What if wealth, beauty and status mattered as much as compassion, respect, care and value? How would that change things? What if my self-esteem (my view of wealth, beauty and status) was equal to my self-love (my view of compassion, respect, care and value)? What if I focused on respecting my feelings (compassion), setting my boundaries (respect), ensuring my wellness (care) and cultivating my gifts (value)? Would I find that my power (beauty, wealth and status) had grown as a result?
Living in Creative Tension
In Peter Senge’s book The Fifth Discipline, he writes,
“The gap between vision and current reality is a source of energy. If there were no gap, there would be no need for any action to move towards the vision. We call this gap creative tension.”It seems to me that when we allow ourselves to be in the gap between our dreams and our reality — to live in our own creative tension — we find our self most ripe with the solutions we need.