{"id":4204,"date":"2010-08-19T12:28:51","date_gmt":"2010-08-19T16:28:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/?p=4204"},"modified":"2021-02-04T13:03:14","modified_gmt":"2021-02-04T18:03:14","slug":"discovering-a-sense-of-boundaries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/2010\/08\/19\/discovering-a-sense-of-boundaries\/","title":{"rendered":"Discovering a Sense of Boundaries"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

\"My<\/p>\n

\\’\\’<\/p>\n

Artificial acceptance of people and circumstances we resent<\/h3>\n

Why do we pretend? Why do we stay in situations that hurt us?<\/p>\n

It’s not that we’re being nice. It’s not that we care.<\/p>\n

We tell ourselves we’re needed and necessary. We inflate our importance.<\/p>\n

We feed our ego.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Because we ‘care’<\/h3>\n

Because I ‘cared’ I used to happily let myself be a food source for others. I saw it as the thing<\/span> I was good at. My fulfillment came from letting others dine freely on my time, talent and energy. They fed on my energy and my ego fed on their attention.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Except, I wasn’t being accountable to myself. I was abusing my energy, and letting others do the same. <\/strong>I was wasting it being ‘on call’ to others, instead of investing it in my art or my Self.<\/p>\n

I put little value on my energy and, as a result, others did as well. I felt tired, used and angry.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It’s not your weight to carry<\/h3>\n

People don’t mean us harm, but they do harm us when they ask for more than we are willing to give.<\/p>\n

Being willing to shoulder the responsibility of other people’s downfalls doesn’t make us a caring person. It makes us a tired and depleted person.<\/p>\n

Meeting the expectations of others, we misplace our own values, and inevitably, it weighs heavily on us.<\/p>\n

A return on investment<\/h3>\n

I’m discovering that I need to see my energy not as something I should<\/em> be giving to others, but as a commodity that I must<\/em> expect a fair return on. It’s my only way to a sustainable life and career.<\/p>\n

As with investing, I have a right to expect and receive a fair return on my investments in energy<\/strong> – both personally and professionally. It’s a give and take, an exchange. Loving a person is not enough<\/strong> to make an investment. Determining it’s a self-loving relationship<\/strong> is.<\/p>\n

Continuing to invest in draining relationships is just bad business.<\/strong> It robs me of the power to effectively invest elsewhere, or in myself.<\/p>\n

Discovering a sustainable life<\/h3>\n

I need to be clear about what my priorities are. I teach others my boundaries, what they can expect from me, by acting on them myself. If I’m not clear on ME, no one else will be.<\/p>\n

I want a sustainable life and career so I’m finding the courage to evict what does not serve the goal of excellence<\/strong>. I’m thinking about me first and creating boundaries for the people, circumstances and behaviors that do not serve me.<\/p>\n

photo by:\u00a0Thesilein<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"My<\/p>\n

[tweetmeme]<\/p>\n

Artificial acceptance of people and circumstances we resent<\/h3>\n

Why do we pretend? Why do we stay in situations that hurt us?<\/p>\n

It’s not that we’re being nice. It’s not that we care.<\/p>\n

We tell ourselves we’re needed and necessary. We inflate our importance.<\/p>\n

We feed our ego.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Because we ‘care’<\/h3>\n

Because I ‘cared’ I used to happily let myself be a food source for others. I saw it as the thing<\/span> I was good at. My fulfillment came from letting others dine freely on my time, talent and energy. They fed on my energy and my ego fed on their attention.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cultural-creativity"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4204","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4204"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4204\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4204"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4204"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4204"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}