{"id":7083,"date":"2013-10-22T16:11:21","date_gmt":"2013-10-22T20:11:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/?p=7083"},"modified":"2016-07-05T17:56:58","modified_gmt":"2016-07-05T21:56:58","slug":"the-want-of-others","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/2013\/10\/22\/the-want-of-others\/","title":{"rendered":"The Want of Others"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"315.365<\/a><\/p>\n

The wants<\/strong> of others used to matter to me.<\/p>\n

I thought somehow they were mine to fulfill.<\/p>\n

At some point I decided that while my wants<\/strong> didn’t matter too much, other people’s were of paramount importance.<\/p>\n

I convinced myself I was being caring, or helpful, or altruistic, or some other adjective that bathed me in a golden light, in giving what they wanted<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

I allowed other people’s wants<\/strong>, and the fulfillment of them, to become my concern.<\/p>\n

And while I pretended to be okay with it, and even to enjoy it in the name of giving, what I really felt was how people were taking from me. And I from them.<\/p>\n

I was being used, and I was using. I was using them to feel loved, valuable, helpful, and they were using me to get what they wanted<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Neither of us was considering what we needed<\/strong>, what was best for either of us, or our relationship.<\/p>\n

Does it matter what you want when you don’t know what you need?<\/h1>\n

I, and they, were confusing our wants<\/strong> for our needs<\/strong>. I thought I needed<\/strong> to be helpful, and they thought they needed<\/strong> help, but we both simply just wanted <\/strong>it.<\/p>\n

We both exerted our power, our esteem for our self, on each other, in hopes that we could get our wants<\/strong> fulfilled, avoiding the work of understanding what we actually needed<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

We lacked the love to know what we truly needed<\/strong> \u2014 and how to get it. So we stayed focused on our feelings of entitlement to get what we wanted<\/strong> from the other.<\/p>\n

We see what we want.<\/strong> But we can see so much more when we look into the truth of why we want<\/strong> things.<\/p>\n

The needs of me.<\/h1>\n

It has taken me time and space to accept that it has always been up to me, and no one else, to obtain the things I need<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

The wants<\/strong> of others, and myself, are nice to know but they don’t need<\/strong> matter. They aren’t helpful or hurtful\u00a0\u2014 until they are attached to.<\/p>\n

There is nothing wrong with having wants<\/strong> \u2014 it’s in the feeling of needing<\/strong> to fulfill them, or not, that my freedom, or my restriction, is born.<\/p>\n

photo credit: ashley rose<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The wants of others used to matter to me. I thought somehow they were mine to fulfill. At some point I decided that while my wants didn’t matter too much, other people’s were of paramount importance. I convinced myself I was being caring, or helpful, or altruistic, or some other adjective that bathed me in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7090,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[60,245,263,91,67,262],"class_list":["post-7083","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultural-creativity","tag-ego","tag-exchange","tag-fulfillment","tag-needs","tag-relationship","tag-wants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7083","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7083"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7083\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7090"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7083"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7083"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elasticmind.ca\/innerpreneur\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7083"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}