If I Deserve It

by | Jun 16, 2015

Tara Joyce

Written by Tara Joyce

This is space to share my musings—unformed ideas, collections of words that catch my fancy, that sort of thing. I'm the author of Pay What It's Worth and the Cross My Heart series.

Judge

Despite my best efforts to prove the contrary, what I do (or do not) deserve is not in my jurisdiction. I don’t get to decide whether I am worth it. When Life provides me with something wonderful, it’s not my job (or right) to decide if I deserve it. That decision has already been made.

What I (or anyone) deserves is not in my authority. I am not the judge.

When I reject the good things in my life, when I decide something is too good to be mine, I am choosing my unconscious feelings of unworthiness. I’m deciding I’m not worth it, and I don’t deserve it. And if I’m not careful, I’m going to sabotage myself out of the gift I’m being offered.

It’s not in my jurisdiction to judge my worthiness. Whether I accept the gift or not, it’s already been offered to me. Not feeling I deserve it is besides the point.

Choosing gratitude.

To bypass these nagging questions of worthiness, and to grow the good things I receive from Life, I’m improving my focus on gratitude. When I look to my gratitude, I see how it supports me in avoiding the rejection and sabotage my unworthiness creates. In choosing to be grateful for, rather than questioning, what I deserve, I gracefully accept my gift and bypass my unworthiness.

Standing in my gratitude, I understand the truth — this gift is mine to have. Life has deemed it so. Whether I am deserving or not, my real work is to accept this gift with as much grace as I can.

photo credit: Joe Gratz

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