The messenger brings with them a message that is not really their own. It has been given to them, to deliver to you....
Business from the inside out
Self/Business Growth Articles
Emotional Self-Abandonment
We, as humans, have a tendency to use our mind to negate our emotions. We use our mind as a tool to abandon how we...
Reality is What You Make It
Despite how we talk about it, reality isn't one thing. One stream. One truth. Reality is defined and designed by you,...
Help for My Helpful Condition
On tap and on demand.
I used to be “on call”. Any time you “suddenly” needed me, I was there.
I used to think I was making things better for you by “fixing” them.
I used to use you to make myself feel useful.
It feels great to be needed?
I like being seen as a “great” and “caring” person. I do not like how tapped out I feel as a result.
I do not like how I couldn’t claim the time or energy I needed as safely my own.
Each time I put my life and my plans on hold to accommodate you, I was quieting my voice. Each time I ran to rescue you, I was abusing my creative energy by allowing you to dine freely on my time, talent and energy.
And it made me angry – at you – but mostly at myself.
The Expectations of Others
From the moment we are born we are shaped by the expectation of others.
Their assumptions weigh us down. They sit like a backpack, heavy on our shoulder. Sometimes invisible to us.
These ideas about us are not ours, but we can hold onto them as though they are.
Our Energy Mustn’t Be Squandered
We need to be conscious of what people ask of us, and what they reward us for being.
What’s Your Real Job?
Looking at your résumé, aside from it’s purpose to ‘get you a job’, would you say that it really shows who you are?
Looking at mine (on LinkedIn), I am struck by how I appear in it. It says nothing about how I actually spent, nor spend, my days. It says little about ME, other than where I went to school (can’t you see how smart I am?), where I’ve worked (yes, THEY hired me!) and what titles I was given (don’t I sound impressive?). It’s a very inaccurate picture of how I add value to the world.
When I wrote it, I was hoping to do a good job of selling you on what I appear to be.
F*$k Rich, Let’s All Be Wealthy
This is how I see wealth…
Wealth = the ability to fulfill needs now + in the future
It’s got nothing to do with being rich…
Being wealthy isn’t about what we have, but about who we think we are. It’s about feeling free to fully experience life.
In creating the freedom to be the best me, I am unlocking my ability to be wealthy, and to make money.
I believe that we increase our wealth by recognizing our individual talents and intelligences. This cultivation of our talents and intelligences spirals outwards, increasing the stock of human capital, and helping humanity. As we grow more wealthy, so does our world.
My Perspective on Mentorship
In my last article I announced that Christine Dionese and I have entered into a peer-to-peer mentorship and, starting this month, will begin mentoring each other through a monthly Q&A column on her blog and mine.
Before we “get columing”, we are sharing our current perspectives on mentorship as we enter into our partnership (to simplify ourselves — I’m a skeptic, she’s a believer). Here’s mine! You can read Christine’s here.
Mentors are:
not a topic, or role, that feel very familiar with. For a long time I felt that the best thing was to do everything myself and to rely on no one. But I’m growing to see the value of mentors now, as I grow to see the value of external support, accept my need for it, and I allow myself to mourn the support I didn’t get.
Me Not Always Communicate Good
Sometimes I really suck at communicating… yet I’m also a great communicator. It’s what I do naturally. But sometimes, I’m down right terrible with it.
My coach Teya Sparks reminds me that I need to be willing to be both extremes. That as a human being, it is only natural.
As a perfectionist, it seems insane. How can I make a career around communication and also be a bad communicator? I must be the best communicator ever. always. period.
But I am not. Sometimes I suck.
Not a Great Communication Moment
Like last week, when I wrote about discovering my designer,
What We Believe We Should Be
Donald Trump in Trump:101 asked, “why compete with others when you can beat yourself?”
Perfection.
What we wish we were. What we think we should be.
It used to be about what They think, but it’s not anymore. It’s about Us.
It’s about not being good enough for our Self. We don’t fit with our own image of perfection.
We can not forgive ourselves for not being what we believe we should be.
Exploring with the Ghosts of Past, Present and Future
[tweetmeme] Our past, the present, and our unwritten future, and what we think of them, they tend to haunt us now and again.
If your ghosts happen to visit this holiday season (or any time), why not invite them in and explore with them. They have much to teach us when we are open to acknowledging them and adapting to their presence.
Learning From the Past: The Ghost of Who You Were
Whether you’re a fan of change or not, you aren’t the same person as you were. You’ve changed. You’ve grown.
Your visions of the past can be one of your chief assets. They can tell you about Who You Are now, what you want, what you don’t want, what you like and what you don’t.
Who You Were can show you that the good stuff and the bad stuff have helped to shaped you equally.
How you remember Who You Were is yours to choose. It can be your chain, it can be your springboard, it can be whatever you desire.
What People Say
[tweetmeme]
The Talk
It’s not always useful.
Be careful. Protect yourself. And your work.
You know what’s best. ‘Should’ is not a reason to do anything.
Advice isn’t always helpful. Premature questions and assumptions are not your friends.
Be Discerning
Sharing something special with someone who is not discerning, or when you aren’t yet ready, is a risky move.
Talk takes energy. And if we aren’t careful, talk dilutes our feelings, and our passions.