How Do You Tame Your Inner Critic?

Innerpreneur Inner Critic

I am my own worst critic. I know that much is true. According to me, nothing I do is good enough.

The Source of My Most Recent Uprising

Last Wednesday I was interviewed by Allie Osmar of The Creative Career, a blog that provides aspiring young Marketers and Communicators with insights into the evolving Creative industry.

During the interview, Allie spoke to me about my experiences emerging from university, working in marketing and my eventual evolution into an innerpreneur.

My First Podcast Interview about My Writing and Work

Before speaking with Allie, I’d never been interviewed for a podcast and I was worried about my ability to convey my ideas clearly (without being able to write and re-write them ad nausem).

After taping the interview with Allie, I was very disappointed in myself. All I could think of was how I could have said more, been more clear, not talked so fast, etc., etc., etc. I was certain I did a terrible job. I thought, I can’t bear to listen to it.

It’s Published – Going Against Mainstream Ideas of Success

This morning, Allie published my interview and the accompanying article, Going Against Mainstream Ideas of Success. It created anxiety in me to read and listen to it but once I did, surprisingly, I thought, “hmm…maybe I wasn’t so bad.” I feel much more confident today than I did the day we taped it.

Listen to the Podcast
Read the Article

Rearing Her Ugly Head Again

So, for now, my inner critic is momentarily silenced. But not really, because as I write this article, I start criticizing again. Just a moment ago, after reading over what I had wrote, I thought of erasing this article entirely.

I am not perfect, nor is my work. I need to accept that. Trouble is, I don’t know how. I know, in part, my ambition and perfectionism helped me to get where I am today but how do I ensure it continues to be a help not a hindrance in my work? What do you do to tame your inner critic?

Other articles that might tickle your fancy:

http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5 Chris Guillebeau

Tara, this is a great analysis. Thank you for being so honest. I feel the same way about phone interviews — it's something I'm trying to get better at, although as you note, we are all our own harshest critics. Congratulations on conquering the fear, at least for this time. It definitely gets easier the more you do it.

Looking forward to reading more of your innerpreneur journey!
http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur Tara Joyce

Chris,

Thank you for sharing your fear with me. It is always comforting to know that others feel similarly. I'm certain it will get easier for me. Today, I already have that much more confidence in my speaking abilities.

Best,

Tara
Chris Klaming

Hi Tara,

I highly recommend looking into the work of Molly Gordon-a personal and business coach in the Seattle area (as well as one of the most highly connected people on Biznik). You can subscribe to her weekly e-zine, buy her book, and get lots of great info from her websites: http://authenticpromotion.com/index.html or http://www.authenticpromotion.com/thebook.html or http://www.shaboominc.com/blog/

In her recent book “The Way of the Accidental Entrepreneur”, she provides exercises for dealing with the inner critic that you speak of. One of the most important practices she touches upon is Questioning Stressful Thoughts, which is just that-examining any conflicting thoughts we have about ourselves and our business. The exercise itself comes from another source-The work of Byron Katie: http://www.thework.com/thework.asp, which I also highly recommend.

I hope some of these will prove as helpful to you as they have been to me.

Regards,

Chris
http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur Tara Joyce

Chris, wow, thank you, that is so helpful. I will be sure to check out each of the links. Funny enough, you are the second person to mention Molly Gordon to me in the last week. No doubt a sign that she has something of great value to offer me. Thank you for providing me with absolutely no excuse not to check her out!

You are so helpful,

Tara
http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

Everyone is their own worst critic, however, I feel that KNOWING that is a big part of the battle. Often times when I'm unsure or criticize myself, I step back and realize it's not as bad as it seems or that I should wait to hear what the other person really thinks…then I can breath a little easier. Secondly, I always realize that criticism doesn't create a positive vibe and can only hurt me in the end. I have to talk myself through this, but realizing that I could be the catalyst for myself by staying positive I'm 'turned off' by the idea of criticizing myself.
http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur Tara Joyce

Grace,

That is an excellent insight. As G.I. Joe used to say, knowing is half the battle. Simply being aware of your thoughts and how they affect you is so crucial on the road to self-improvement. My favourite saying for this is “thinking about thinking”. Cultivating a mindset that allows you to not take your emotions a face value but rather to be able to dig into them and understand why they are occurring and how they can be managed and changed.

I do admit, at really low points, I find this more difficult. It is hard to rationalize your emotions when they are raging irrationally. It isn't impossible and I work on it constantly but sometimes I can't help but let my mind beat me down. Sometimes my resolve isn't strong enough to fight the anxiety. But every day I work on improving and for me that is the best I can ask of myself.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Grace.

Tara
http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

I love that G.I. Joe phrase “knowing is half the battle,” but I guess it doesn't always resolve the problem at hand. Sometimes an outside and objective perspective from someone else can be self-validating.

Furthermore, it doesn't always have to be poisonous because Einstein attributes some of his success to self-criticism: “I know quite certainly that I myself have no special talent; curiosity, obsession and dogged endurance, combined with self-criticism, have brought me to my ideas.” -Einstein

It seems relevant to not let it poison yourself and your work, unless it's being constructive. Easier said than done, right? Thanks for the further insights, Tara. I look forward to talking more in the future.
http://kiamshacom.blogspot.com Ananda Leeke

Your interview and article were amazing. Thanks for the resources. I love the Cultural Creatives book. It has been my handbook for years. I feel you on the inner critic. My bodywork masseuse/creativity coaching client Ken encouraged me to embrace my inner critic by inviting her into my heart and asking her in my journaling exercises what she wanted and needed from me. I met her on paper and began to understand that she wants to be heard and treated as a valuable archetype like my other 7 archetype. Her name is Broomhilda. I listen to her and allow her to speak her mind with boundaries. Most of her comments are released from my spirit and transformed into positive energy with support from Spirit and my angels, ancestors, spirit guides, and master teachers. Sometimes Broomhilda does make a good point or two in the midst of her sharing. The loudness of her voice has quieted down now that I honor her in the morning by welcoming her and my other archetypes into my heart.
http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur Tara Joyce

I've named my inner critic Ramona, after one of my favourite childhood heroines. The author Judy Bloom created her. What I still need to learn is how to embrace her. She is still my enemy, tearing me down and making me feel ashamed. Another goal I have for 2009 is learning to accept, welcome and better understand the purpose of Ramona and her often misguided ideas. I think it is wonderful that you have found a way to welcome her into your heart.

Tara
http://www.thatcanadiangirl.co.uk thatcanadiangirl

You've inspired a post today, Tara :) Since I don't think Disqus handles pingbacks, I thought I'd leave you a note.

http://www.thatcanadiangirl.co.uk/blog/2009/01/...
http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur Tara Joyce

I am honoured. I liked your article. I thought your insights into why
people do not self-promote was very accurate. But far less intentional
than you suggest.

I look forward to your tweets.

Tara
http://glvr.com gulliver

>I am not perfect, nor is my work. I need to accept that. Trouble is, I don’t know how.

That's life – there's stuff we're not supposed to understand. In three months time you'll be writing posts which describe how you're learning to let go. (http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur/index.ph...)
http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur Tara Joyce

Touche. You're a wise man.