Okay, I've been hiding from myself.
I've been calling myself a coach for a while now - and it does fit, sort of. I mean, it is a part of what I do...
But at the heart of me, I am not a coach.
At the core of me, what I am, what I have always been, is a designer. A designer and a writer. Doing those two things brings me the greatest pleasure in this world.
The wonderful people I meet and co-create with, and the way in which we design together (through coaching) is important, but is secondary to my deepest pleasures and god-given talent.
I was hiding my designer behind a coach because...
I thought I'd like me better as a coach.
I thought I sometimes think that my value lies in what I do for others, not in who I am. Being a designer, in my old mind, wasn't "good enough", it was too much aesthetics and not enough about strategy and helping others. Even though design, to me, is all of those things and more.
Coaching felt safer. It kind of fit and I felt more confident with the description. It helped me to not deal directly with my denial of my designer.