We Wouldn’t Need So Much Esteem If We Had More Love

We Wouldn’t Need So Much Esteem If We Had More Love

EsteemLove

Perhaps you’ve had an experience similar to mine. I grew up believing I could DO anything. I was nurtured by the concept that everything I desired could be mine, if only I was willing to work for it.

What I did not understand, amid my action full of DOing, was this was not the whole story. Sure, I could try and do everything, and I might even impress myself in doing so, but without the other piece of the puzzle, this doing of mine lacked a real purpose.

I had learned to be full of self-esteem but I lacked self-love. I knew I could DO, but I couldn’t see nor appreciate the BEing behind it. I was the product of a cultural environment that emphasizes what you DO (the external) more than who you ARE (the internal).

We’ve been taught to believe that through DOing we are entitled to everything we desire. And while this sounds good and is partially true, it is an unbalanced approach that prevents us from recognizing that our value is far greater than the esteem-based DOing we’ve limited our self with, and tangled our self in. Without including the value of our BEing, we are leaving our self starving to receive recognition from others, for inside we haven’t learned about the true value we posses.

Without knowing the value of our BEing, we can’t help but be caught up in the esteem-based DOing — a DOing done not because we need to, but because we think we should. We can’t see another way to have the life we desire. And so we strive for outside power (beauty, money, status) more and more in an attempt to fulfill the thing we need more of. Love.

We wouldn’t need so much esteem if we had more love. Care, compassion, respect, value. We need them as much as we need beauty, money and status. One does not need to be pursued at the expense of the other. Through loving our self, we can create the esteem we desire.

photo credit: Caleb George

Love and Esteem

Love and Esteem

loveesteem

What if these two things were created equal?

What if wealth, beauty and status mattered as much as compassion, respect, care and value?

How would that change things?

What if my self-esteem (my view of wealth, beauty and status) was equal to my self-love (my view of compassion, respect, care and value)?

What if I focused on respecting my feelings (compassion), setting my boundaries (respect), ensuring my wellness (care) and cultivating my gifts (value)?

Would I find that my power (beauty, wealth and status) had grown as a result?

My esteem wants to have and do but without knowing where my love lies, am I really getting what I want?

I can make the connection.

Between my external desires and my internal needs. I do not need to pursue one at the expense of the other.

Through loving myself I am creating the esteem I desire.

 

This article was partially inspired by the concepts found in Madly In Love With Me by Christine Arylo.

photo credit: stars alive