Blinded By The Light

Blinded By The Light

photo credit: Craig Sunter

There’s a problem with abundance. In living with it—and amongst it—there’s a risk I will stop seeing it as a thing of beauty—and the gift that it is.

The very real risk with abundance is I’ll take it for granted—either by expecting it to always be there, and/or by not acknowledging its presence fully in my life. Either approach spoils my appreciation of it.

The very real gift of abundance is in learning to receive it fully, it stretches me. For to fully honour it, I must acknowledge how fortunate I am, by remaining thankful for my life amongst the pain of it. Being present to this gratitude, my abundance can not be spoiled. I will not become blind to it’s presence.

My world is abundant for a reason. It is here to expand me. For it to do anything else, like spoil me, is my choice alone. Money (and other forms of wealth) simply do not have that power over me (or anyone else), and never have. It is I that gives my power to them.

I always have a choice in how I acknowledge the abundance of my world. In the end, what truly grows the wealth of my world, is my desire to become more skillfully aware of how I choose to receive abundance—and how I choose to give it.

photo credit: Craig Sunter

Emotional Self-Abandonment

Emotional Self-Abandonment

photo credit: gingher

We, as humans, have a tendency to use our mind to negate our emotions. We use our mind as a tool to abandon how we feel.

I know, personally, I often use my mind to abandon my negative feelings, especially when they are directed at someone I love. In these moments, I’d rather pretend the feelings aren’t there… than explore why they are. The result of doing this, of locking up my sensitives in my logical mind, is that I disown my feelings and my emotional needs.

For some of us, we negate our feelings or emotional needs because we feel the expression of them is dangerous. Our emotions feel too vulnerable and the sharing of them feels to risky. Rightfully, risks are present when we share our most vulnerable self — but hiding our feelings from others is far more dangerous. For it leads us to mask our feelings, not only for others, but from our self. Rather than feel what we feel, we learn to abandon ourselves emotionally. We learn to negate what we feel and to lock it up in our mind. This lack of emotional self-awareness, and this mental overemphasis, further disconnects us from our self — and others.

We owe it to our emotional self to break our cycle of self-abandonment.

Emotional self-abandonment may feel safer — but it is no less painful than our own emotional truth — and it is all the more detrimental. For in not being present to our selves, we become slightly lost.

However, by acknowledging our logical desire to negate our feelings, we begin to break this cycle. Simply in seeing our abandonment, we cease our pattern of turning our back on our feelings. For recognizing our neglect enables us to be present to our emotional self once again, and within this awareness, we find we no longer need to leave any part of ourselves out again.

photo credit: gingher

The First Step

The First Step

First steps

The first step… It’s the most exciting and scary moment. It’s the moment when you become aware of the problem… And it’s the moment when you begin to solve it.

Becoming aware of the problem is the beginning of your solution. Awareness is your first step. In simply recognizing the dirt and muck, you’re growing. There are so many who are not even yet willing to look there and recognize it. You, however, are. In seeing it, you’re already working on rising above it. You’re already taking a huge step.

Your unconditional worth can only be discovered when you take this first step. Self-awareness is necessary if you are to expand fully into the world.

It’s an exciting moment each time you find yourself taking this step (again) for the first time. In seeing the problem, you’re entering into a solution about to unfold. It’s the first step in a thrilling adventure into knowing and loving yourself better.

photo credit: Thomas Leth-Olsen

What Are You Asking For?

What Are You Asking For?

photo credit: Fibonacci Blue

I’m so intrigued by what I’m witnessing. With time, I’m learning of more and more business experimenting with not setting prices. Their individual approaches to doing so are wholly unique, with nuances tailored to meet their specific business needs. What is shared by each however, is their need to identify and communicate what exactly they are asking for their customer to do, if their customer is not paying a set price.

How exactly does the exchange work?
What are my needs as the seller and what role does the customer play in meeting them?
What does the buyer need and what role do I play in meeting them?
What is truly being exchanged and valued between us?

While their answers may change with experience, in order to sell now, these businesses need to determine what they are asking for their buyer to do, and how to communicate it clearly. For as the buyer, before I commit to make a purchase, I need to understand what I am giving in order to receive what you are selling. I need to understand my end of our agreement.

Whether I set prices or not as a business owner, I need to have clarity around the question, “What am I asking for in my business exchanges?” It fortifies my integrity (and my customer’s) to establish norms, accountability and disclosure around my system for giving and receiving with them. The closer I get to knowing what I need AND what I’ve been asking for, AND how they may differ, the closer I am to creating my most value-adding and harmonious business exchanges.

In every relationship, business or not, in order for it to be healthy and mutually beneficial, I need to be responsible to my needs by identifying and communicating them. It is of deep service to my Self and to the person I am in relationship with to do the work to recognize my needs and to share them compassionately. For in growing my own awareness, I create space for the other person’s needs to be recognized too — by them and by me. Only when both of our needs are recognized and fulfilled is our relationship a healthy and sustainable one. And one where we can both trust and grow wealthy in our exchange of giving and receiving.

In your own business, do you know what you’re asking for? Are you receiving what you need? If you find there’s a space in-between, please take note of it. The more you learn about and explore this space of lack, the closer you’ll be to whole-ing it. It’s from this place of responsibility (to your own needs and your customers) that you can and will grow harmoniously together.

photo credit: Fibonacci Blue

Paralyzing Thinking

Paralyzing Thinking

photo credit: crashmaster

What stops you dead in your tracks?

One thing that stops me is thinking about my performance. Whether it is before, during, or after an action in which I want to perform and do it well, thinking about my performance paralyzes me.

For what I am really doing in that moment is judging my performance, but more specifically, what I am really, really doing is jumping to (very negative) conclusions about my performance.

I am deciding I know exactly what You think about it.

Except every single time You are actually Me, as my worst version of myself.

Quick, what’s the absolute worst thing you could say about this totally piece-o-shit performance? Ha ha, nice! Burn. And so true!

Is it any wonder I find myself paralyzed?

What’s cool though is now that I see how my reaction looks — how I jump to conclusions and paralyze myself — I can begin shifting my thinking around this behaviour.

In recognizing it, I now have a choice if I want to continue engaging with it, or if I want to respond to my mind, and it’s harsh paralyzing judgements, with an understanding awareness and a willingness to let them pass. I don’t need to hold on to them. They aren’t helping.

I like the power in this, and with practice, I trust I can create the mental freedom I desire. Because in the end, I perform because I need and want to, and nothing, not even my own harsh judgements, are going to stop me from doing what I love.

photo credit: Crashmaster