Vulnerable
It’s a risk. I’m afraid. What will you think of me? What will I think of me? If I tell my hidden truth?
I feel so ashamed. How could I show you that? I can not take the chance of showing my true face to you.
The idea of bearing it is terrifying. In fact, it is more than that, it is life threatening. My neediness threatens my life. It terrifies me. I don’t want to feel it.
I must protect from it. I can not need love. I can not show how I need you. I must protect who I truly am behind my performance of independence.
Why do I feel the truth in my heart is so ugly? So shameful? Why do I feel I must cover it up?
If you knew what was in me, if I showed it to you, I’d be under threat. From me. From you. From the weight of my unbearably inconvenient truth.
Yet if I can break through my fear and allow myself to be vulnerable, what lies on the other side? Could the very thing I fear so much be the very thing to set me free?
But of course. My life is not threatened by my vulnerability. Not anymore, at least. I’m now an adult, in charge of my life. I have the ability to unlearn the faux-protection granted by aloofness and lack-of-care, and allow myself to re-access the wholeness within me. With courage, I have what it takes to face the truth in my heart. I can be me. Vulnerable. Truthful. Completely me.
photo credit: emily mucha
