1 post from day 13/10/2011

Help for My Helpful Condition


On tap and on demand.

I used to be "on call". Any time you "suddenly" needed me, I was there. I used to think I was making things better for you by "fixing" them. I used to use you to make myself feel useful.

It feels great to be needed?

I like being seen as a "great" and "caring" person. I do not like how tapped out I feel as a result. I do not like how I couldn't claim the time or energy I needed as safely my own. Each time I put my life and my plans on hold to accommodate you, I was quieting my voice. Each time I ran to rescue you, I was abusing my creative energy by allowing you to dine freely on my time, talent and energy. And it made me angry - at you - but mostly at myself.

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