by Tara Joyce | Aug 12, 2016 | Self/Business Growth
When we unite with another, we create something greater than we could create alone. Coming together, we increase the talents and efforts we have available to create something meaningful. From business to friendship to romantic relationships, partnering with another can be a powerful tool for growth.
Everyone in our life is a mirror reflecting back the parts we love and dislike about ourselves. Partnering with another, we face our reflections. And it takes courage and awareness to look at them honestly. Denial, shame, and blame can often be easier routes.
The partnerships we choose matter. We need to be conscious and intentional about them, as acting from any other space can be hard to recover from. Rushing into a union. Preventing our self from entering into one. Looking to another to fix or complete us. Another looking to us to fix or complete them. These are all actions that do not serve our partnerships. Considering beyond our immediate needs to our intentions underneath, we prevent ourselves from creating dependent bonds.
Taking space to get clear on our intentions, we have the potential to choose unions that truly support and enhance the best of who we are. A union where we can face our true self, supported by our partner, is where we create the possibility for growth through our partnerships, as they offer us the ability to transform and to be accepted. Finding this interdependence with another, we sense the strength and fertility of its foundations, and we naturally invest in it and nurture it. Together, we sense we’re creating something greater than we could alone.
Forged from our clarity around what we need and want in partnership, and grounded in remembering we are our own source of happiness and fulfillment, we have the tools to shape healthy partnerships. In tune with our self, life becomes a collaborative effort, and much of what we do and who we are is enhanced through our partnerships.
photo credit: Redd Angelo
by Tara Joyce | Aug 5, 2016 | Self/Business Growth
Not wanting to feel it. Apathy towards the whole thing.
Why bother?
Isn’t it curious how we can love something. Someone. So much.
And feel so completely rejected and disappointed by them.
Two sides of a coin.
Love and pain.
How can I care so much, and yet desire to care so little?
Apathy. An easy option filled with complications.
Eventually, the truth will catch up with me.
Apathy. A dangerous act to perform.
It’s hard to keep up. It takes its toll.
Especially when masking the pain of rejection and disappointment.
How long can I pretend before I forget, and the mask falls from my face?
Can I trust myself? Am I that good of an actor?
What if I wore my rejection, my disappointment, without shame?
How might that change things? If you and I were to know the truth?
No reason to hide.
The love and pain, revealed.
Vulnerable. Exposed.
It is what it is. Equanimity. Towards my disappointment and my rejection.
I can learn to love them, as I do you. You’re intertwined, one. Ever present.
All of what I feel deserves to be felt.
Equally acceptable is my love and my pain.
photo credit: Karla Cantu
by Tara Joyce | Jul 19, 2016 | Self/Business Growth
To see only yourself in every reflection, and only the parts you want to see, a life is lived in the shallow end. Where there is deepness and darkness, you do not probe, unwilling to go deeper. Uncomfortable with its truth, you reject and dismiss that which you care not to understand.
To be shallow is to only see—and believe in—the surface facade of others, and of yourself. This shiny surface is so alluring when the darker, less “perfect” aspects of yourself are unacceptable. You live on the surface, so that life’s deeper truths and anyone who expresses them, can easily be rejected.
To dip below the surface is supremely threatening, for to acknowledge the depth possible is to accept the imperfect life we each bear. Dipping below your own facade, your own shiny surface, to acknowledge and accept your own imperfections is more than your shallow heart will currently bear.
Instead, it is easier to see that “other” people have issues, that there is something supremely “wrong” with them. It is easier to point fingers and to place blame. It is easier to not understand and to judge. Resolved of responsibility, comfortable in the shallow end, you do not see the deeper, darker truth of yourself hidden in plain sight. Everyone in your life is a mirror reflecting back the parts you love and dislike about yourself. Those which provoke you and numb you, those which drive you to turn away and to hide from your darkness, are the very reflections you can learn the most from.
photo credit: stttjin
by Tara Joyce | Jul 7, 2016 | Self/Business Growth
Being hard on ourselves and others, we often assert that we either have confidence—or we don’t. Yet gaining confidence is a gradual process. It is only with practice that we learn to handle our affairs with proficiency and ease. Through practice, we learn to trust ourselves and our decisions, developing our self-assurance. Inherent within us, our self-assurance is not a momentary—nor set—thing. Rather it grows as our confidence expands, as we skillfully handle life’s challenges. Only through practice do we develop true faith in ourselves, assured as we bear witness to our ability to positively impact the quality of our life.
Looking back on when we felt self-doubt and lacking in confidence, and aligning ourselves to that person, we can see that true self-assurance is a process that takes time. We must learn to trust ourselves. We must learn to have confidence in our decisions. Being open to uncovering our past fears and doubts and seeing where we’ve lacked confidence, we allow ourselves to heal our old wounds and to notice how much we’ve grown since creating them. Invariably, our awareness creates greater strength and confidence within us about our future and our ability to skillfully handle it. Little by little, we find our confidence grows.
photo credit: Karen & Chris Highland
by Tara Joyce | Jun 24, 2016 | Self/Business Growth
Regret is a painful thing. We see it through the lens of things undone, unsaid, unbeen. We feel it for those moments where our head overran our heart. We embrace it when we act from fear rather than love. All these moments we regret. It is never the moments from love, but the ones acted on—or not—out of fear; these are the moments we miss(understand).
Our mind wants to protect us, but from what? What is it our mind first causes us to fear—then ask us to protect against? Sadly, it is love. Always balancing our head and our heart, we are not perfect people. Trying to protect our self from the truth of our feelings, we make mistakes we later regret. Busy thinking about how we want to feel, we miss another moment to connect.
