7 posts tagged care

Criticize, Condemn, and Complain

No matter what you do or don't do, I always have a choice in how I communicate with you. You can't make me do or feel anything. If I choose to not consciously communicate, I am choosing to give away my power. Whether I am attempting to feel small or big in front of you, my unconscious words are reducing me to less than I am. If you can stay steady in you, I can't claim your power. Despite my anger-filled desire, my words can't possibly do this. Nothing external can. Only you can ...

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Vulnerable

It's a risk. I'm afraid. What will you think of me? What will I think of me? If I tell my hidden truth? I feel so ashamed. How could I show you that? I can not take the chance of showing my true face to you. The idea of bearing it is terrifying. In fact, it is more than that, it is life threatening. My neediness threatens my life. It terrifies me. I don't want to feel it. I must protect from it. I can not need love. I can not show how I need you. I must protect who I truly am ...

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Let Go

Note to Self: Don't be concerned about what you do. This does not mean what you do does not matter. To say it doesn't matter is to veil my concern with apathy. What I mean is, do not be attached to any particular thing or way. Let you be enough. Know you are enough. Good and bad. Accept you as you are. There is no one better that you need to be. photo credit: Syahmir

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Rejected and Disappointed

Not wanting to feel it. Apathy towards the whole thing. Why bother? Isn't it curious how we can love something. Someone. So much. And feel so completely rejected and disappointed by them. Two sides of a coin. Love and pain. How can I care so much, and yet desire to care so little? Apathy. An easy option filled with complications. Eventually, the truth will catch up with me. Apathy. A dangerous act to perform. It's hard to keep up. It takes its toll. Especi...

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Performing

So good at the act that you forget what's true. So good at pretending that the unreal becomes real. What you feel is under your control. You can simply act it away. A mask of neutrality. Leads you to believe you might actually feel it. You can ignore your feelings. You can act forever. Yet at some point, the inevitable curtain comes down, and the performance ends. You are left with you; and the feelings you're pretending aren't there. If only for a moment. ...

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