by Tara Joyce | Jul 9, 2014 | Innerpreneurship, My Journey | What's On My Mind, Pay What It's Worth Pricing
A Calling
I’ve always wanted to — and knew I needed to — WRITE a BOOK.
If I knew anything about myself, I KNEW this. And this KNOWING was so powerful that it became incredibly painful.
Resistance
But I didn’t know how, so I tried to escape from IT. The pressure of IT. For a while.
With time and practice, it became not so much the WRITING that weighed, but THE (unwritten) BOOK itself. As did my resistance to ALL THE MEANING I had now placed on IT.
Nothing meant more than creating THE BOOK I always dreamed of, and so under this heavy weight IT sat stagnant.
IT meant too much to move, the fear of not getting IT right or not getting THERE at all hovered. The seriousness of the endeavour weighed. I NEEDED to do this.
Acceptance
Five year ago I started writing THE BOOK I dreamed of creating, and today I am ready to share it with you.
It’s taken lots of work on myself, and spending the last year writing the start of a fiction series, to reach THIS place where I am ready, willing, and able to write and share my BOOK that meant so much.
I can now see and trust that this BOOK that means so much, is one of many inside me. I now know I am able to do IT.
And IT doesn’t mean as much as I made it out to. And yet IT means so much more.
I feel ready now to step fully into who I am. To feel FREE to collect and share my words and thoughts with you. And to KNOW it means something when I do, but this meaning isn’t there to scare me, only motivate.
A Heroic Journey
And so, with no further ado, I am proud to share with you my first book, Pay What It’s Worth: Building Your Sustainable System for Not Setting Prices.
May it take you on an adventure the way it has taken me.
by Tara Joyce | Oct 22, 2013 | Cultural Creativity
The wants of others used to matter to me.
I thought somehow they were mine to fulfill.
At some point I decided that while my wants didn’t matter too much, other people’s were of paramount importance.
I convinced myself I was being caring, or helpful, or altruistic, or some other adjective that bathed me in a golden light, in giving what they wanted.
I allowed other people’s wants, and the fulfillment of them, to become my concern.
And while I pretended to be okay with it, and even to enjoy it in the name of giving, what I really felt was how people were taking from me. And I from them.
I was being used, and I was using. I was using them to feel loved, valuable, helpful, and they were using me to get what they wanted.
Neither of us was considering what we needed, what was best for either of us, or our relationship.
Does it matter what you want when you don’t know what you need?
I, and they, were confusing our wants for our needs. I thought I needed to be helpful, and they thought they needed help, but we both simply just wanted it.
We both exerted our power, our esteem for our self, on each other, in hopes that we could get our wants fulfilled, avoiding the work of understanding what we actually needed.
We lacked the love to know what we truly needed — and how to get it. So we stayed focused on our feelings of entitlement to get what we wanted from the other.
We see what we want. But we can see so much more when we look into the truth of why we want things.
The needs of me.
It has taken me time and space to accept that it has always been up to me, and no one else, to obtain the things I need.
The wants of others, and myself, are nice to know but they don’t need matter. They aren’t helpful or hurtful — until they are attached to.
There is nothing wrong with having wants — it’s in the feeling of needing to fulfill them, or not, that my freedom, or my restriction, is born.
photo credit: ashley rose
