People will always have their opinions. And some of them may be about you, and about your work.
An opinion is simply one person’s point of view, one person’s way of seeing things. It’s no stronger or weaker than any another perspective. It’s no more true or false. It’s simply one person’s judgement. Nothing more.
It’s the way in which one delivers their opinion and why, that allows their perspective to hold more weight or less.How do you deliver your perspective? And why do you present it? Within these answers lies the true value of the opinion.
Not everyone needs to like you, or your work. You need to like you, and your work. You need to be proud of what you accomplish and create for yourself. In holding this space, in honouring the value of your contributions and growth, you can see more clearly the value (or lack thereof) of another’s opinion.
The people who judge and criticize can and will. Because they need to — in the same way you need to create. That’s their stuff. And it has nothing to do with you, or your work. It’s their stuff when they need to highlight the embarrassment of others expressions. It’s their stuff when they demean those who are vulnerable enough to reveal themselves completely. The amount of truth and value that lies in their perspective is yours to determine.
The people who praise and support can and will. Because they need to — in the same way you need to create, and others need to criticize. Similarly, the amount of truth and value that lies in their perspective is yours to determine.
You make the choice to be who you are, to take risks, to be vulnerable and expressive, and you get to choose how you want to process and respond to the opinions’ others may have of this choice. Positive, neutral, and/or negative. With every opinion you receive, YOU have the power to determine the importance you give to it, and the person presenting it. All opinions are not created equal.
A wise woman asked me recently after I received a hate-full comment on my blog if I would stand in front of an arena of people and sincerely ask for them to tell me what they think of my outfit, or better yet, my self.
My answer was no. Absolutely not. I would not do that. The opinions of total strangers are not something I want or value.
Next, she asked me if I would stand in front of a group of people I respected and ask them what they think.
My answer was yes. Absolutely I would. The feedback of people I respect, and that respect me, is something I value very much.
No place for commentary in my world.
Feedback, to me, is thoughtful communication intended to support my growth and improvement. It helps me close the circle. It’s love-full.
An opinion, commentary, requires none of this.
Feedback, I am learning is something to love and receive. Commentary, I am learning is something to leave.
Too exposed.
I write to understand how I feel, think and act, and to challenge myself to express it in words.
I write for me. I do it because I need to.
Any other opinion of my expressions does not matter. It does not benefit me to attach to them. Only I can determine if my choices are serving me.
Leaving commentary behind.
I have permanently removed the option to leave comments on my articles. It’s a brave decision to create, and to share it publicly, and I must honour the sensitivity of my brave heart.
I have never been comfortable with receiving comments on my expressions, and that’s okay.
I realize in my desire to connect and to be accessible, I was inadvertently allowing something that wasn’t filling my need to create and share in a safe, supportive space.
Befriending feedback.
You, dear reader, who respects and loves who I am and/or what I do, I love you and your feedback is invaluable. I always want to connect and hear from you.
To support this feedback friendship we’re building, I’ve created the Word Explorers. By granting me email access to you, I will send you early drafts of my latest work, and in return, if you feel so inclined, you can share your feedback with me.
I’ve also created this Question & Answer space to keep our dialogue open too. Here you can ask me a question and/or make a suggestion, and see my answers to past questions.
I love you.
Thank you for reading and for your love-full support. You help me to be my best me.
