by Tara Joyce | Jun 1, 2016 | My Journey | What's On My Mind
So good at the act that you forget what’s true.
So good at pretending that the unreal becomes real.
What you feel is under your control.
You can simply act it away.
A mask of neutrality.
Leads you to believe you might actually feel it.
You can ignore your feelings.
You can act forever.
Yet at some point, the inevitable curtain comes down, and the performance ends.
You are left with you; and the feelings you’re pretending aren’t there.
If only for a moment.
The act is over.
What then?
Who are you when your truth has space to be?
The question, terrifying.
Its answer even more so.
It lies in love and the shape of it.
What does your love and care look like when there is no performance to mask it?
photo credit: Ania
by Tara Joyce | Mar 4, 2014 | Cultural Creativity
It is a way of being that prevents connection.
It is presenting a false story about myself and my life in order to control others perception of me.
It’s a form of marketing or more specifically advertising, and it’s neither mindful nor empowering.
While in my pretense, I’m not valuing my contributions fully nor am I fully valuing the contributions others.
I am not being honest about who I am. I am determining certain elements of me are better and more desirable.
How does it feel to hide parts of myself?
My pretense is like my own beer commercial where I see blondes in bikinis drinking delicious beer, having fun and playing volleyball with awesome dudes.
Everything looks perfect, I’m trying hard to show you that it’s perfect, and I’m displaying my finest acting and contortionism so you don’t see the sand in my bum and the dimples in my thighs.
Does the need for pretense grow with the acquisition of power?
Probably not. But the acquisition of power does make it easier to hide and pretend.
But why do I hide and pretend? Is it about my relationship with power?
What am I communicating when I do pretend?
I am expressing that I need to try and control perceptions of me. Yours and mine. It’s about my power.
I need to appear more or less perfect than I already am.
Why am I not enough?
photo credit: SalFalko
