The Want of Others
The wants of others used to matter to me. I thought somehow they were mine to fulfill. At some point I decided that while my wants didn't matter too much, other people's were of paramount importance. I convinced myself I was being caring, or helpful, or altruistic, or some other adjective that bathed me in a golden light, in giving what they wanted. I allowed other people's wants, and the fulfillment of them, to become my concern. And while I pretended to be okay with it, and ...
Our Relationships of Integrity
They are our relationships built on mutual trust and respect. They are our relationships in which worries subside over being taken advantage of, or of needing to control. They are our relationships where both parties act with confidence and ease. They are our relationships in which games are not played, and expectations and needs are communicated clearly. These are our relationships of integrity. They are our connections where we express and share without reservation.
The End of My Superficial Relationship
For decades I’ve been in a casual relationship with you. I wasn't ready to commit to you fully. Today, I am not feeling so balanced, and my commitment to you, as usual, wants to falter. And yet I am here. This is what we’ve been working towards. A space where I feel trust and commitment in my relationship with you, my writing. It’s taken a slow build-up to get here, our relationship has been like learning to speak, and learning to love, a language. A little bit of practice each day and eventually I’ve found myself feeling more natural with you.
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