Something To Admit

I'm a little confused, aren't you creating a community through this site?

Dan,

Yes, I'm a bit of a contradiction. I don't know much about being a
member of a community (or I feel that I don't)... I'm happiest alone
or with one other person. But I am trying to connect us, as I feel our
collaboration is is key... it's just that I'm not so sure how... since
I'm not so into community... or haven't been in the past.

so. relate. if I weren't such an introvert, I'd probably call you up to discuss.
xo
Daniele

Danielle,

First off, not to ass kiss but I love your site. It's a pleasure to
connect with you. Second, haha, I'd probably call you up too if I
wasn't such a hermit... how do introverts ever hear each other's
voices? Third, this community thing is making me crazy. I'm starting
to feel like I'm missing out on a great piece of life... but am I?

Sometimes I hear you.. and I'm a super duper ultra social kinda gal.. but after a long day with the kiddos... being a lone even to walk down the aisle of wal-mart sound YUMMY!! :)

Oh Carissa, I feel like I have so much to learn from those of you who
enjoy a more social life. I feel a bit in the dark as a loner trying
to unite a community... I need to learn from the community what great
value being involved can be.

I'm more into solitude. I don't "get" group, aka community. I feel those involvements tend to "dumb down" what you are trying to accomplish. I'm not a snob, I just don't see the value of community (outside of selling people stuff).

Interesting, Mike... I'm mulling this over. My instinct is to agree
with you as I've never partaken in community things for that very
reason. But I wonder, are we selling our Self short? There must be
value to be gained from community... mustn't there?

Me too, in part. I'm more in favor of communities that actually create value for me personally, or which I can feel good about being a part of, rather than the mere existence of a "group." Life is too short to be surrounded by people to whom I feel no specific reason to be connected.

I'd be interested to know what communities create value for you,
Justin and how they do it. I've yet to get involved in any concrete
community online or off. I never can seem to see the value...

Tara

That depends on which values you're seeking. Do you need to collaborate with people? Do you need to bounce ideas off others to gauge the coherence (and potential success) of your own plans? Do you derive satisfaction from helping other people solve their problems, or find relief when they help you solve yours? Do you enjoy venting your frustrations -- or celebrating life's pleasant surprises -- with your peers?

If you don't need any of those things, then you're more self-sufficient than most people I know, including me.

If you *do* need any of those things, then the next question is: who can provide you with meaningful interactions? Not all communities are created equal, and not every random group of people can give you the feedback / interaction / information you desire. The more groups you take part in, the easier it is to detect which ones are most likely to be beneficial to you in some capacity and which ones are most likely to drain your spirits and drive you crazy.

Personally, I've found value in PodCamp (although I've been co-organizing one for 4 years), Tweetups, other social media gatherings, freelance / entrepreneurial meetups, and organized recreational sports. I also engage with 3 or 4 different "groups" (or different types of conversants) on Twitter, so I can keep multiple streams of thought flowing at once that don't necessarily overlap. Each group provides a different amount of value in a different way, and if I ever feel like I'm not getting what I need, over time, I take part less and less until I've moved on completely to something else.

Justin,

"Do you need to collaborate with people? Do you need to bounce ideas
off others to gauge the coherence (and potential success) of your own
plans? Do you derive satisfaction from helping other people solve
their problems, or find relief when they help you solve yours? Do you
enjoy venting your frustrations -- or celebrating life's pleasant
surprises -- with your peers?"

That's a great list of reasons why someone needs to collaborate with
others but I think I still struggle with why I can't achieve all of
the above with a conversation with one other person? At what point is
more than two people working together of greater benefit? Aren't the
deepest and most meaningful connections created between two people,
not a group? How do you foster a meaningful connection with an entire
community? Does it not still come back to the individual relationships
created within the context of community?

I really think that those of the innerpreneurial mindset have already
and continue to create great meaning in my life but I struggle with
how I can encourage those individuals to learn and share with each
other... especially as a loner who has never identified with a
community until now. It's like the blind leading the blind!

Help!

Tara

Tara: You're right that you can achieve all of the above with a one-on-one conversation. But community allows you to receive more, and more varied, feedback faster than a series of one-on-one conversations would. What you lose in specificity, you make up for in consensus. (Or, in other words, 10 people might give you 10 different reasons why your new idea isn't so hot, but pitching it to a community of people whose opinions you already trust will snuff out the ideas that are most -- and least -- likely to gain traction much faster than a series of 1-on-1 evaluations that come to the same general conclusion.)

Meanwhile, few people are multitalented enough to accomplish every aspect of what they're pursuing by themselves. At some point, collaboration is inevitable. And people who can interrelate within a community will have a much higher chance for success than people who lack the ability to navigate group social dynamics.

I'm not suggesting that anyone *stop* having one-on-one conversations. In any group I've been a part of, there have been a few people I develop a close connection with and many more in ever-widening "outer circles" of influence. So while the bulk of my interaction obviously takes place among those in the group that I feel closest to, even those whom I consider personal outliers can have valid insights that I would miss if I weren't open to their POV.

Believe me, I'm a loner by nature. I'm completely content to live in my own head for years at a time. But I can't provide myself with everything I need to live a fulfilled social existence; I need occasional interaction, and I need both supporting and conflicting viewpoints in order to better understand -- and sometimes amend -- my own preconceptions.

Justin,

I know you are right... my thoughts are coming from a place of
ignorance as I have not yet experienced the immense value a
constructive community can create. Like you said I needed your
"supporting and conflicting viewpoints in order to better understand
my own preconceptions."

But now that I can see a bit more clear, I am pondering how I can
encourage constructive collaboration between Innerpreneurs. My first
attempt was the forum but I fear that I am botching that one... I am
still trying to get clear on how I can help foster meaningful
connections. Any ideas?

Thank you so much for all the insight you have already shared with me,
Justin. It is immensely appreciated.

Tara

What would define "meaningful connections" in your situation? Once you know what kind of community you'd like to create -- and what you and everyone else would like to learn / take away from it -- you can evaluate the steps you're taking toward making that happen and see what's working and what isn't.

Also, find examples of the types of communities you'd like to be involved with, and ask the people in them how they helped cultivate their collaborative culture. See if any of their experiences apply to your situation.

Good luck!

Justin,

Great advice. I appreciate it. Now I just need to find an existing
community that resonates... the great hunt begins!

Tara