Anger

September 3, 2010 in Growing · Written by Tara Joyce · Follow Me on Twitter

Anger

[tweetmeme] I’ve got a bit of a temper. You could call me fiery, if you will. Certain things just boil my blood.

I take pleasure from expressing my displeasure.

Anger. The root of all protest movements and all processes of change.

I love my anger… when it’s properly channeled. It drives me to make things different. My anger tells me that THIS is something that I am not okay with. It is a boundary-setter. It tells me that “I can see/feel/know that someone or something has wronged me.” It tells me something needs to change.

It is one of the best drivers I know. If I didn’t think it was wrong, I would never be driven to refine anything.

If I hadn’t been pissed off at the corporate world, and the way business ’should be’, and being told I ’should’ accept it, this whole thing never would never be. My anger was a necessary driver. And it continues to spur me.

Express it honestly.

Many of us make the mistake of pushing away anger, fearful that it will be destructive if expressed. Often, we hypervalue silence as though it were it’s own virtue.

Others express aggression, blame, anxiety or rage – the destructive siblings of anger – instead. We alter and use the anger to blame others, or shame our Self.

There is no need to hide our anger.

We can learn from it and use it to our advantage if we speak honestly and kindly about it. In times of anger, we need to allow ourselves the space to feel our feelings with a gentle acceptance of them, so as to not dissociate from them, or distance our Self from another.

We can ask our Self:

  • Why am I feeling this?
  • What needs to change here?
  • What do I need to do about it?

Asking these questions slows down our reactivity and allows us to think about the potential consequences of speaking or not speaking in any given moment. It also allows us to see that we are not a victim of circumstance and do have choices in how we handle injustice.

Our anger is our clue to changing our world.

photo by: kodama

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  • http://www.mlmnetworkmarketingleadtips.com/ Liz McGowen

    “Our anger is our clue to changing our world.”

    Right on. So often, people push-push-push their anger down. Ignoring it. Not listening. And the results are disastrous. I think we've all been there and seen the results.

    I'm not a particularly “angry” person, yet I find myself spending quite a bit of time with things that make me angry — trying to figure out the why. It never ceases to amaze me what happens when I do.

  • http://twitter.com/HappyLotus Nadia Ballas-Ruta

    You go, girl!

    I loved your last line: “our anger is our clue to changing our world”.

    The irony about anger is that anger can be good if it leads to action. Sometimes people just get angry and don't do anything. That is bad. People often try to act all loving and yet you know they are boiling underneath.

    My motto is that you have to be real. If you are pissed, then be pissed. Own it, work through it and just be. To deny any emotion is a waste of time…and life is too short to waste on crap.

  • http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur/ Tara Joyce

    Thanks for sharing your perspective, Liz. I was a bit apprehensive

    about sharing my support of anger and it's great to know I have your

    support.

  • http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur/ Tara Joyce

    Let go of something. I like that. I'm going to think on that one.

    Thank you.

  • http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur/ Tara Joyce

    Amen! Thank you for sharing, Nadia!

  • susantblake

    I saw an interview a year or two ago with Maya Angelou, in which she said (I'm paraphrasing), “Anger is good. Speak your anger. Sing your anger. But bitterness? Ah. Don't go there.” It's an important difference, neh?

  • http://www.elasticmind.ca/innerpreneur/ Tara Joyce

    A very important difference and one that I am so happy you have

    highlighted, Susan. Thank you!