by Tara Joyce | Jul 7, 2016 | Self/Business Growth
Being hard on ourselves and others, we often assert that we either have confidence—or we don’t. Yet gaining confidence is a gradual process. It is only with practice that we learn to handle our affairs with proficiency and ease. Through practice, we learn to trust ourselves and our decisions, developing our self-assurance. Inherent within us, our self-assurance is not a momentary—nor set—thing. Rather it grows as our confidence expands, as we skillfully handle life’s challenges. Only through practice do we develop true faith in ourselves, assured as we bear witness to our ability to positively impact the quality of our life.
Looking back on when we felt self-doubt and lacking in confidence, and aligning ourselves to that person, we can see that true self-assurance is a process that takes time. We must learn to trust ourselves. We must learn to have confidence in our decisions. Being open to uncovering our past fears and doubts and seeing where we’ve lacked confidence, we allow ourselves to heal our old wounds and to notice how much we’ve grown since creating them. Invariably, our awareness creates greater strength and confidence within us about our future and our ability to skillfully handle it. Little by little, we find our confidence grows.
photo credit: Karen & Chris Highland
by Tara Joyce | Mar 17, 2016 | Self/Business Growth
It needs to be good. No. It needs to be great. If it isn’t, it’s not worth anything.
My sentiment is, of course, not true. Despite how I may feel, the worth of it, of anything, lies not in its goodness (or lack thereof) but in what is being expressed and shared through it.
After all, “goodness” and “greatness” aren’t real measures of anything. You may feel it’s good, while I may feel it’s not. Who’s right? We both are.
So who really cares what’s good? Why let your fear of not being IT stop you from expressing? If you are doing your best, that is what matters. As creators, what we truly desire is to do our best with the resources we have. Good or not, your expression has value.
As you expand your resources, you’ll find you reach a place where you can do better than you did before. You may find yourself feeling your work from before is not as good as you feel it could be today. This is not a sign of your ineptitude. This is a sign that you have improved and grown. You now have more information, more practice, and more support than you’ve ever had before.
You are better, you have improved, and now you’re seeing how you’ve grown. Resist the temptation to feel upset by your previous expressions, feeling they are not good enough. They are beautiful artifacts of your growth between now and then. Before, you simply weren’t able to see how you would and could express yourself better—and now you are. That’s invaluable stuff.
photo credit: Ana C.
by Tara Joyce | May 22, 2015 | Self/Business Growth
Is there a way to know how to do something without first doing it?
Can I know how to play the piano without first playing it?
Can I possibly, truly know how to do anything without having done it first?
I need practice. I need to learn how to do the thing I desire. I need to do it, to know it. I need to make mistakes.
I don’t know how. I’ve never done this before. I have to practice, and I have to allow for the mistakes I’ll make while I learn. It feels fair to provide myself understanding of this.
Sometimes, my mistakes are more valuable than my triumphs. Sometimes, my mistakes teach me, and grow me, in ways far more transformative.
I need both the highs and the lows for my confidence to grow. The pain and the pleasure are necessary teachers to know how.
I can’t wholly know how without experiencing both. I need their practice. I need to know I can handle both in order to confidently know I can do.
photo credit: woodleywonderworks
by Tara Joyce | Nov 11, 2014 | Cultural Creativity
If the pain is going to be there either way, why would I choose to feel it?
If I feel it, I can actually heal it. If I don’t feel it, I can not know its true state, and I can not start to heal it.
Whether I like it or not, feeling my pain fully is necessary for my healing, for my whole-ing.
I can not reduce my pain when I don’t acknowledge it. I can not feel more whole and healed when I deny parts of my experience.
When I want to hide from my pain, I remember that in facing it, I start to heal it. Stuffing it down only guarantees I will hold onto these feelings longer.
My pain is inevitable but my suffering is optional.
So I practice feeling it and not fearing it. I practice believing I can face and handle my pain. And ever single time I do, I find I’m right.
photo credit: Lein C. Lau
by Tara Joyce | Jun 18, 2014 | Self/Business Growth
Creative. Intuitive. Wise. Beautiful. And all the other qualities we (sometimes) believe only the special possess.
The possession of these gifts, however, is not a special thing. For we each possess them, with varying degrees of visibility.
The special thing, the thing stands out, is not the qualities themselves but the empowered use and the deliberate practice of them.
For to practice and harness your creativity, your intuition, your wisdom, your beauty takes patience, dedication, and optimism. It takes developing less visible qualities in pursuit of your more visible ones, and it takes focusing your time and energy on your goals, while accepting that the immediate satisfaction of these needs can not be met.
This is what makes these people special. Not the qualities themselves, but their dedication and persistence in nurturing and sharing what’s inside of them.
photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography
