Oh That Tara Joyce, She’s Such a Phony Baloney
This is actually a quote from Seinfeld‘s Jerry in the episode, ‘The Mango’… obviously he wasn’t talking about me though, he was talking about Meryl Streep. But whatever, that’s not important.
We all feel like phony baloneys
I pontificate weekly about craft, community and connection… but, at times, it feels fake. The truth is, I’m not yet confident enough in my own craft to call myself a writer (if someone asks me what I do I say independent Web Consultant), I have a secret scorn for humanity and I often feel alone and disconnected from the world.
So what do I really know about craft, community or connection?
Putting limits on my Self
I’ve become aware that calling my Self a phony is my way of limiting my Self and my ability to enjoy all the love, joy and abundance I am capable of (and more importantly, deserving of) experiencing. It’s just that sometimes I can’t let go of the story that I am fundamentally flawed and ultimately not worthy.
Most of us tell our Self this story — we are all phony baloneys fooling the world into loving us.
Oh that Tara Joyce, she’s such a wizard
Being conscious of the story and the self-imposed limits it creates, I have now started to work positively with it. When I start in on my “you’re such a phony baloney” bit, I now see it for what it is, a story that I use to limit my Self, rather than a truth I need to get hip to. (Yes, I know the 60’s are calling and they want their lingo back;)
There is nothing wrong with me and the sooner I stop telling my Self there is, the sooner I can embrace my own genius and work fully in it.
I want to be the most wicked me I can be. I want to be a wizard. Like Einstein. And that’s no baloney.
photo by: Vaguely Artistic