by Tara Joyce | Sep 15, 2010 | My Journey | What's On My Mind
I’m writing my first book. It’s about letting my customers determine the price they pay for my work. I call it value pricing.
I’ve been pricing this way for over a year and a half. I’ve been thinking about writing this book for over a year and three-quarters. I’ve been writing it for over six months.
It’s painful. I’m procrastinating.
I’ve barely written anything, and what I did write, I’m not feeling good about.
Every day, I ask myself, will you write some of it today? Each day, I don’t.
I haven’t since July.
I want to write this thing.
So I’ve got an idea… something that’ll scare me into moving… I’ve got an idea to share my progress with you. With anyone who cares.
I’m going to post my daily progress publicly. I need some kind of kick in the pants. And I figured a public airing of my struggles might be good for that, and for my soul. If you want to, you can cheer me on, or send me wisdom, to get me writing.
So, I’m now on Facebook. I’ve been fighting this for a while. Join me on Facebook and watch me struggle to write my first book.
Eventually, you’ll see me reach my goal. But the journey is the fun part anyway… right?
See you over there.
by Tara Joyce | Sep 3, 2010 | Self/Business Growth
I’ve got a bit of a temper. You could call me fiery, if you will. Certain things just boil my blood.
I take pleasure from expressing my displeasure.
Anger. The root of all protest movements and all processes of change.
I love my anger… when it’s properly channeled. It drives me to make things different. My anger tells me that THIS is something that I am not okay with. It is a boundary-setter. It tells me that “I can see/feel/know that someone or something has wronged me.” It tells me something needs to change.
It is one of the best drivers I know. If I didn’t think it was wrong, I would never be driven to refine anything.
If I hadn’t been pissed off at the corporate world, and the way business ‘should be’, and being told I ‘should’ accept it, this whole thing never would never be. My anger was a necessary driver. And it continues to spur me.
Express it honestly.
Many of us make the mistake of pushing away anger, fearful that it will be destructive if expressed. Often, we hypervalue silence as though it were it’s own virtue.
Others express aggression, blame, anxiety or rage – the destructive siblings of anger – instead. We alter and use the anger to blame others, or shame our Self.
There is no need to hide our anger.
We can learn from it and use it to our advantage if we speak honestly and kindly about it. In times of anger, we need to allow ourselves the space to feel our feelings with a gentle acceptance of them, so as to not dissociate from them, or distance our Self from another.
We can ask our Self:
- Why am I feeling this?
- What needs to change here?
- What do I need to do about it?
Asking these questions slows down our reactivity and allows us to think about the potential consequences of speaking or not speaking in any given moment. It also allows us to see that we are not a victim of circumstance and do have choices in how we handle injustice.
Our anger is our clue to changing our world.
photo by: kodama
by Tara Joyce | Aug 25, 2010 | Innerpreneurship, Self/Business Growth
Tactic = an action or strategy carefully planned to achieve a specific end
Your business name, your tagline, your website, your brochure, your FaceBook fan page, or any other business tool – they are tactics – that you employ to reach a goal.
Tactics don’t make a business successful
No tactic, no matter how clever or cool, will keep a client coming back. The value your business creates will.
You, the person behind the business – you, the person creating and providing the product and/or service – are ultimately what will make your business grow or shrink, and make your clients true fans.
No enduring business I know of can thank their tagline, or their business name, or any of their ever-changing and evolving tactics for their sustained success. They may thank tactics for having helped garner them attention, but they see their sustained success is due to the value their business creates in the world.
Smart people helping doesn’t hurt
You can hire awesomely smart people to work with you on your business tactics, and invariably you will grow because of them, but they do not have the answers to make your dreams a reality. They can’t guarantee that. No one can. But they can help you to shape your tactic into something great. To a point.
They can help you to create the most beautiful and functional website but it’ll be up to you to make it come alive and fill it with value. They can design you the most visually stunning and clever logo but it’ll be up to you to share and connect it to the people who can benefit from it’s message.
Your business success, the reaching of your goals, it’s always up to you. Tactics can help you to get there but they can’t guarantee arrival.
photo credit: HamburgerJung
by Tara Joyce | Aug 19, 2010 | Cultural Creativity
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Artificial acceptance of people and circumstances we resent
Why do we pretend? Why do we stay in situations that hurt us?
It’s not that we’re being nice. It’s not that we care.
We tell ourselves we’re needed and necessary. We inflate our importance.
We feed our ego.
Because we ‘care’
Because I ‘cared’ I used to happily let myself be a food source for others. I saw it as the thing I was good at. My fulfillment came from letting others dine freely on my time, talent and energy. They fed on my energy and my ego fed on their attention.
Except, I wasn’t being accountable to myself. I was abusing my energy, and letting others do the same. I was wasting it being ‘on call’ to others, instead of investing it in my art or my Self.
I put little value on my energy and, as a result, others did as well. I felt tired, used and angry.
It’s not your weight to carry
People don’t mean us harm, but they do harm us when they ask for more than we are willing to give.
Being willing to shoulder the responsibility of other people’s downfalls doesn’t make us a caring person. It makes us a tired and depleted person.
Meeting the expectations of others, we misplace our own values, and inevitably, it weighs heavily on us.
A return on investment
I’m discovering that I need to see my energy not as something I should be giving to others, but as a commodity that I must expect a fair return on. It’s my only way to a sustainable life and career.
As with investing, I have a right to expect and receive a fair return on my investments in energy – both personally and professionally. It’s a give and take, an exchange. Loving a person is not enough to make an investment. Determining it’s a self-loving relationship is.
Continuing to invest in draining relationships is just bad business. It robs me of the power to effectively invest elsewhere, or in myself.
Discovering a sustainable life
I need to be clear about what my priorities are. I teach others my boundaries, what they can expect from me, by acting on them myself. If I’m not clear on ME, no one else will be.
I want a sustainable life and career so I’m finding the courage to evict what does not serve the goal of excellence. I’m thinking about me first and creating boundaries for the people, circumstances and behaviors that do not serve me.
photo by: Thesilein
by Tara Joyce | Aug 16, 2010 | Self/Business Growth
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Can you provide it for me?
Unfortunately, I’ve agreed that in order for me to be something, I need external validation to be so.
Things aren’t real and true because I feel them. They’re true when something bigger than me validates them.
They’re true when some else agrees.
Like you.
Will ‘credentials’ make me confident being what I am?
It’s easier to feel confident about what you’re doing when you have them.
An MBA will give me permission to have confidence as an entrepreneur.
A formal art education will allow me to paint and create without guilt, and scorn.
A literary agent will make me feel like a real writer.
I know I don’t need to rely on outside authority to proclaim I’m good enough to do what I feel.
I just need to do it. And keep doing it.
Whether you or They like it or not.
I don’t need your ‘Go Ahead’.
Though I understand why I want it.
I need help sometimes. I need someone to tell me what the right thing to do is.
Except the only person who truly knows what I need to do is me. And I know that now.
I don’t need your permission.
It’s support and encouragement for those things most tender within me that I need.
I need space to be what I am. I need to feel that you respect my passion and my choices.
photo credit: Funkyah
Have you heard of the Personal MBA? This article was inspired in part by it’s Rule #1: You Don’t Need Permission. Thank you, Bill Boulton, for the reference.
