Disowned

I can't take ownership of these feelings, these thoughts. These issues are not mine to hold. I am without scars; flawless. Undesirable qualities, I have not. It is You that is angry. Jealous. Insecure. It is You that is to blame. It is You that has these faulty thoughts, incorrect feelings. You are the source of what I do not like. About myself. You are my projection. It is You that I can blame for these uncomfortable feelings. For my distress. It is on You that I ...

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Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Dear Reader, As you may or may not have noticed, I've been quiet for all of January. While I certainly feel like hibernating (since there is little to no sun in Toronto right now), the real reason I've been quiet is because my site has been down due to a hacked website on the server I share through my web host. It was a lovely practice in patience as I waited for it to be restored. I very much appreciate your patience too as I've worked to resolve the issue. Now that things are ...

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Wishing You A Joyful Holidays

Hello dear reader, I realize I don't often address you directly, do I? That feels funny since you are such a gift to me. <3 Most of the time, I write these words because I am experiencing something in my own life and I need my words, and playing with them, to feel into the experience. I find the whole process of writing, editing, and publishing what I need to express supportive and therapeutic. When I learn these words I need so much to enjoy and explore myself, are touching you ...

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Performing

So good at the act that you forget what's true. So good at pretending that the unreal becomes real. What you feel is under your control. You can simply act it away. A mask of neutrality. Leads you to believe you might actually feel it. You can ignore your feelings. You can act forever. Yet at some point, the inevitable curtain comes down, and the performance ends. You are left with you; and the feelings you're pretending aren't there. If only for a moment. ...

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Getting to Know Your Garbage

Here's a bit of my garbage... I have a tendency to attach to other people's garbage. I magnetize to the parts of people that they have decided have no value and have thrown away. I can't stand how their not responsible to these parts, and I determine someone needs to be. And now their garbage has become mine. I've attached to it. Except, I have my own garbage to manage. So, why do I think I have room to take on theirs? Being responsible to theirs, I can't fully be responsible ...

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