The Gradual Process of Gaining Confidence

The Gradual Process of Gaining Confidence

Gaining Confidence

Being hard on ourselves and others, we often assert that we either have confidence—or we don’t. Yet gaining confidence is a gradual process. It is only with practice that we learn to handle our affairs with proficiency and ease. Through practice, we learn to trust ourselves and our decisions, developing our self-assurance. Inherent within us, our self-assurance is not a momentary—nor set—thing. Rather it grows as our confidence expands, as we skillfully handle life’s challenges. Only through practice do we develop true faith in ourselves, assured as we bear witness to our ability to positively impact the quality of our life.

Looking back on when we felt self-doubt and lacking in confidence, and aligning ourselves to that person, we can see that true self-assurance is a process that takes time. We must learn to trust ourselves. We must learn to have confidence in our decisions. Being open to uncovering our past fears and doubts and seeing where we’ve lacked confidence, we allow ourselves to heal our old wounds and to notice how much we’ve grown since creating them. Invariably, our awareness creates greater strength and confidence within us about our future and our ability to skillfully handle it. Little by little, we find our confidence grows.

photo credit: Karen & Chris Highland

What You’re Capable Of

What You’re Capable Of


You are well equipped to face whatever challenges are placed in your path. In all ways.

Whether you see them or not, you have been provided with an abundance of resources to draw upon.

Whatever your objective, if you can trust that you have the resources to handle it, you’ll find yourself responding capably when challenges present themselves. Trusting your resilience, you’ll find yourself naturally employing your resources effectively and efficiently.

Your challenges, whatever their nature, are here to support you in proving to yourself that you are as capable and skilled as you desire to be. In immersing yourself in these taxing situations, you empower yourself to test your grit—and you expose your true resilience.

The challenging situations causing you pain compel you to utilize all of your strengths and resources, just to stay afloat. What’s beautiful is in bravely and competently facing these challenges, your confidence increases and you discover within you the will and the ability to accomplish almost anything. Now, you truly understand what you’re capable of.

photo credit: Jeremy Thomas

It’s Not What Happens, It’s How You Handle It

It’s Not What Happens, It’s How You Handle It


Life happens… Things you can’t control… People you can’t avoid… Stuff happens just beyond your reach, and it affects you.

I used to think it was my responsibility to control the things that happened in Life. I strived to minimize the bad and to maximize the good. I watched and I stood prepared. I let in only what passed my vigorous tests.

As Life continued, and continued to happen, I began to see the illusion of control I felt I had. Despite my best efforts, I could not manage and shape Life into being exactly as I wanted it to be. I could not make it more convenient for me.

This left me considering, perhaps I’d been misunderstanding my job. Perhaps, it wasn’t my job to control Life. Perhaps instead, it was my job to manage how I handled it. Perhaps, it’s not what’s happening that matters, but rather how I’m handling it.

I can’t stop Life from happening but I can work to know, and trust, I’m handling Life as best I can. In working on this confidence, I receive clarity around what I am truly responsible to in Life — to myself and to you. I must handle you and I, and what happens between us, with care. I must handle Life and all it brings (the good, the bad, and the in-between) with respect, and with honesty.

Handling things as best I can, however, does not necessarily mean you will recognize this. You may not see the truth of my actions and you may not mirror this back to me. You may feel I’m not doing a good enough job handling things. When this is the case, it’s time again for me to practice my confidence, checking in with my Self and determining if I’m handling things as best I can, and if so, continuing to. The truth of my actions will reveal itself.

No matter what comes my way, Life only provides me with what I can handle. In doing my best with these circumstances, I free myself from the chaos of Life’s happenings.

photo credit: Ias

Don’t Know How

Don’t Know How


Is there a way to know how to do something without first doing it?

Can I know how to play the piano without first playing it?

Can I possibly, truly know how to do anything without having done it first?

I need practice. I need to learn how to do the thing I desire. I need to do it, to know it. I need to make mistakes.

I don’t know how. I’ve never done this before. I have to practice, and I have to allow for the mistakes I’ll make while I learn. It feels fair to provide myself understanding of this.

Sometimes, my mistakes are more valuable than my triumphs. Sometimes, my mistakes teach me, and grow me, in ways far more transformative.

I need both the highs and the lows for my confidence to grow. The pain and the pleasure are necessary teachers to know how.

I can’t wholly know how without experiencing both. I need their practice. I need to know I can handle both in order to confidently know I can do.

photo credit: woodleywonderworks