7 posts tagged feelings

Disowned

I can't take ownership of these feelings, these thoughts. These issues are not mine to hold. I am without scars; flawless. Undesirable qualities, I have not. It is You that is angry. Jealous. Insecure. It is You that is to blame. It is You that has these faulty thoughts, incorrect feelings. You are the source of what I do not like. About myself. You are my projection. It is You that I can blame for these uncomfortable feelings. For my distress. It is on You that I ...

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Rejected and Disappointed

Not wanting to feel it. Apathy towards the whole thing. Why bother? Isn't it curious how we can love something. Someone. So much. And feel so completely rejected and disappointed by them. Two sides of a coin. Love and pain. How can I care so much, and yet desire to care so little? Apathy. An easy option filled with complications. Eventually, the truth will catch up with me. Apathy. A dangerous act to perform. It's hard to keep up. It takes its toll. Especi...

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The Moments of Regret

Regret is a painful thing. We see it through the lens of things undone, unsaid, unbeen. We feel it for those moments where our head overran our heart. We embrace it when we act from fear rather than love. All these moments we regret. It is never the moments from love, but the ones acted on—or not—out of fear; these are the moments we miss(understand). Our mind wants to protect us, but from what? What is it our mind first causes us to fear—then ask us to protect against? Sadly, it ...

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Performing

So good at the act that you forget what's true. So good at pretending that the unreal becomes real. What you feel is under your control. You can simply act it away. A mask of neutrality. Leads you to believe you might actually feel it. You can ignore your feelings. You can act forever. Yet at some point, the inevitable curtain comes down, and the performance ends. You are left with you; and the feelings you're pretending aren't there. If only for a moment. ...

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Emotional Littering

Emotional littering is when I attempt to alleviate my own overwhelming emotions by disposing of them elsewhere, when I inherently know they're mine to be responsible to. In those moments, I don't want to own what I'm feeling and how I'm reacting to it. Instead, I'm trying to drop my responsibility into another's backyard. To put it on them. I'm not making space for my stuff, and I'm attempting to alleviate this by leaving it for someone else to take care of. I'm pretending to not be ...

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