Standing For Accountability

Standing For Accountability

It seems we are being challenged at this very moment to stand for what we know is true and right. Whether we are being called to empower ourselves as we face political bullies, companies that abuse their power, and/or other entities that prey on our natural weaknesses, this is a time of great transformation and opportunity. It is a time for us to stand and to use our voices.

In my own world, I’ve been challenged over and over in the past weeks by broken systems that attempt to dehumanize our experience in an attempt to streamline their own operations. I’ve been asked by bigger businesses than myself to not be an individual, and to instead accept a one-size-fits-all solution, policy, and/or way of doing things. None of these approaches work for me. I am not willing to fit in, to go along, nor to be quiet, so as to make another more comfortable, more at ease, and more lax in their work and way of being. I am an individual and I demand to be treated that way. When I see that I am not, I understand I have a choice to continue investing my time, energy, and money in that system/business/entity or to not to. I never have to stay quiet and take it.

A paradigm is rising across our planet, made up of people like you and me who stand for love, inclusion, and integrity, and who believe we have a responsibility to stand for our rights and for the rights of others. We are awakening and coming together in unexpected ways and in unprecedented numbers to use our voices and to wield our personal power to break down old, corrupt structures. There is still much work to be done, and as we continue to integrate and heal the deep pangs of division we all feel, I find solace in how we are united in our quest. It is a moment when the enormous bully or perpetrator says, “Yeah, I did it. So what are YOU going to do about it?”

This is our moment. This is our opportunity. I believe in your personal power and in mine. I believe this is the moment where our ability to stand tall for who and what we are, and represent it as best we know how is most crucial. Please take good care of yourself so you can stay strong and bring your best self. We will make the difference.

photo credit: Scott Lum

The Moments of Regret

The Moments of Regret

if we never try we never know.

Regret is a painful thing. We see it through the lens of things undone, unsaid, unbeen. We feel it for those moments where our head overran our heart. We embrace it when we act from fear rather than love. All these moments we regret. It is never the moments from love, but the ones acted on—or not—out of fear; these are the moments we miss(understand).

Our mind wants to protect us, but from what? What is it our mind first causes us to fear—then ask us to protect against? Sadly, it is love. Always balancing our head and our heart, we are not perfect people. Trying to protect our self from the truth of our feelings, we make mistakes we later regret. Busy thinking about how we want to feel, we miss another moment to connect.

Performing

Performing

Performing

So good at the act that you forget what’s true.

So good at pretending that the unreal becomes real.

What you feel is under your control.

You can simply act it away.

A mask of neutrality.

Leads you to believe you might actually feel it.

You can ignore your feelings.

You can act forever.

Yet at some point, the inevitable curtain comes down, and the performance ends.

You are left with you; and the feelings you’re pretending aren’t there.

If only for a moment.

The act is over.

What then?

Who are you when your truth has space to be?

The question, terrifying.

Its answer even more so.

It lies in love and the shape of it.

What does your love and care look like when there is no performance to mask it?

photo credit: Ania

We Wouldn’t Need So Much Esteem If We Had More Love

We Wouldn’t Need So Much Esteem If We Had More Love

EsteemLove

Perhaps you’ve had an experience similar to mine. I grew up believing I could DO anything. I was nurtured by the concept that everything I desired could be mine, if only I was willing to work for it.

What I did not understand, amid my action full of DOing, was this was not the whole story. Sure, I could try and do everything, and I might even impress myself in doing so, but without the other piece of the puzzle, this doing of mine lacked a real purpose.

I had learned to be full of self-esteem but I lacked self-love. I knew I could DO, but I couldn’t see nor appreciate the BEing behind it. I was the product of a cultural environment that emphasizes what you DO (the external) more than who you ARE (the internal).

We’ve been taught to believe that through DOing we are entitled to everything we desire. And while this sounds good and is partially true, it is an unbalanced approach that prevents us from recognizing that our value is far greater than the esteem-based DOing we’ve limited our self with, and tangled our self in. Without including the value of our BEing, we are leaving our self starving to receive recognition from others, for inside we haven’t learned about the true value we posses.

Without knowing the value of our BEing, we can’t help but be caught up in the esteem-based DOing — a DOing done not because we need to, but because we think we should. We can’t see another way to have the life we desire. And so we strive for outside power (beauty, money, status) more and more in an attempt to fulfill the thing we need more of. Love.

We wouldn’t need so much esteem if we had more love. Care, compassion, respect, value. We need them as much as we need beauty, money and status. One does not need to be pursued at the expense of the other. Through loving our self, we can create the esteem we desire.

photo credit: Caleb George

Does Your Value Have a Limit?

Does Your Value Have a Limit?

NoLimit2

Can you really know your value?
Is it a fixed thing?
Is it of value to quantify your worth?

These questions intrigue my mind.

To explore this curiosity, I developed a (business) practice of not setting prices. In this system of pricing, I place no limit on the value of my offerings, and instead I trust and guide my customers to fairly determine the value of what they’re receiving, and the price they pay for it.

In not setting a price on the value of my service, I’ve come to understand something powerful: the only real limits to your value are the ones you place on yourself.

Your value doesn’t have a limit, unless you choose for it to. It’s not a fixed thing; it changes, rises and falls, relationship-to-relationship, exchange-to-exchange, and it grows as you learn to value yourself more responsibly.

The heart of it is: your worth, and the value you place on it, sets your intentions for what you receive. You have the power to choose how limitless you truly are.

There is no need to fix or limit your value; rather there is a necessity for you to grow into your awareness of it and your boundaries around it. In my experience as you do you’ll find your world, and the value of it, grows graciously with you.

A version of this article was originally published on Fine Lines.
photo credit: Nicolas Raymond