I can find it pretty easy to question my feelings, especially when they’re contrary to the people around me.
I might decide I’m being illogical, or overly emotional, or perhaps unreasonable. Whatever I choose, I’ll determine the uncomfortable feeling is something I can and should disregard.
I do this despite knowing that I have, like you, sharply honed instincts – deeply imbedded likes, dislikes, talents, and struggles – that are as much a part of me as my limbs.
There are a lot of rules to my game. Too many to follow it seems. There are the rules I’ve learned from others. And then there are the ones I’ve wrote myself.
It can be easier to see the rules and expectations others have imparting on me, but the ones I impart of myself are the most limiting.
Those rules, those self-imposed ‘shoulds’, are what keep me in victim mode, limited and continuing to play my games, even when I don’t want to, nor acknowledge I am.
For decades I’ve been in a casual relationship with you. I wasn’t ready to commit to you fully.
Today, I am not feeling so balanced, and my commitment to you, as usual, wants to falter. And yet I am here.
This is what we’ve been working towards. A space where I feel trust and commitment in my relationship with you, my writing.
It’s taken a slow build-up to get here, our relationship has been like learning to speak, and learning to love, a language. A little bit of practice each day and eventually I’ve found myself feeling more natural with you.
The subject’s been coming up a lot for me lately.
It seems I am being schooled in the Art of Alchemy. I’m being taught about my ability to transmute that which is undesirable into something worthy.
I am learning to understand the power of what I don’t want.
Sometimes I can be too open to the possibilities… Sometimes I can be a bit too eager to accept what’s being given to me.
The Truth is some things aren’t good for me to open to. Some things being offered aren’t meant to expand me. Some things aren’t given to me with the best of intentions.
THIS IS SERIOUS, my ego screams.
She wants my work to be great. For her, it isn’t enough to create, it’s only worth while if I create something great. For her, it isn’t about quantity, only quality.
She is not content with letting me practice and discover my process. She wants serious results, and she wants them now.
She, my ego, has begun her screaming, and quickly my previously delightful project becomes a source of anxiety. Doubt has set up shop and I find I’m no longer working for the sake of it. I’m no longer happy just being on the field, suddenly I need to run the fastest and the best.
Hi there, I’m Tara Joyce.
Unfulfilled at 26, I decided to start my own business to explore how I could be of service. Quickly, I was attracted to the seemingly backwards strategy of not setting a price and to allowing my customers to determine the value of my offering. Today, my “Pay What It’s Worth” concept supports people globally in exploring their own fear-based ideas around money, value, and business relationships.
