For decades I’ve been in a casual relationship with you. I wasn’t ready to commit to you fully.

Today, I am not feeling so balanced, and my commitment to you, as usual, wants to falter. And yet I am here.

This is what we’ve been working towards. A space where I feel trust and commitment in my relationship with you, my writing.

It’s taken a slow build-up to get here, our relationship has been like learning to speak, and learning to love, a language. A little bit of practice each day and eventually I’ve found myself feeling more natural with you.

Today, I find myself where I wanted to go. I can feel the love I have for you again. Of all the things I desire, feeling my love for you was what I wanted most of all.

It makes sense that it showed again when I committed to showing up for you.

You are a relationship I want to nurture and support, to be present to, and I am learning to care for you as I would any partner in my life. You are no longer my superficial love, we are no longer casual. I am committed to grow with you through whatever life brings.