For the Next 3 Weeks
My husband, Daniel, and I arrived yesterday afternoon in Costa Rica, in celebration of our 2nd wedding anniversary, where we are spending two days at Volcan Arenal — in hopes of seeing some molten-hot magma — before heading North to Nicaragua and the border crossing at the Rio San Juan.
The whole area surrounding the Rio is a tropical rain forest and, apparently, the bio diversity there is spectacular. The Rio San Juan is know as one of last ‘wild’ rivers as it is surrounded by nature reserves, and strong conservation measures are taken, to keep civilization from intruding on the natural wonders of the area. All along the river we can expect to see hundreds of different bird species like: Chestnut Toucans, Harpy Eagles, Boat-billed herons, Great Egrets, Jacanas and Cormorants. As well as other species such as caimans (crocodile), turtles, monkeys, red arrow frogs.
After travelling the Rio, we will head North to the gorgeous colonial city of Granada and then morph into beach bums for our last week, and enjoy the sun and surf of San Juan del Sur. My husband and I traveled to Nicaragua for the first time last year and instantly feel in love.
Feeding My Soul… But Not This Blog
I will be writing the whole time I am gone but, technology has it’s limits, and I’m expecting internet access to be non-existent along the wild Rio. If I had my shit together more I perhaps would have written a ton of posts before I left, and pre-published them, but, alas, I am not that good. So, expect for my publishing to be spotty over the next three weeks as I feed my freaky soul, and take a sojourn from my wonderful business and work.
I wish you much joy and peace. Thanks for reading.
I can’t believe how easy it was to shift my life in Toronto into low gear for the last 3 weeks. Sure, it was “stressful” before I left, but only because I made it so.
Being away and unconnected for such a nice chunk of time showed me how overinflated my sense of purpose had grown and how I was lacking perspective. Publishing, responding to emails, helping clients, spending time with family and friends, all of it doesn’t have to happen now. Though I had fooled myself into thinking it did. The world isn’t waiting for, or depending on, me. I’m not saving lives. I’m not that important. Time keeps on moving, whether I am racing to keep up or not, and this truth feels so good because it makes me feel so small.
“Hay más tiempo que vida” (There’s more time than life) – Nicaraguan saying
What is the big rush? Why do I hurry so? Why have I bought into my culture’s belief that there is never enough time? Does it make me feel more important and inflate my sense of purpose to believe that I MUST GET STUFF DONE TODAY? Why do I buy into the story that life and business are a race to a finish line, unseen?
It’s bullshit, and the sane part of me knows it. I’m not racing anyone or anything, I’m just trying to keep up with the silly rules I’ve created for myself out of fear. Somewhere down the line, I agreed to believe that the words slow and doing nothing were dirty, especially when it came to my business. I had agreed to believe that it was my necessity to make something of myself, to do more, to be known, that my life required others attention in order to be meaningful.
I was forgetting that all I’ve ever wanted are two things — to be happy and to make a difference — and I already have them. Seeking and striving for more makes me unhappy as it over-inflates my sense of purpose. My life, as it is right now, is my dream. And I don’t need to be afraid of it slipping away if I don’t move fast enough.
Slow and steady is beautiful and effective. Leaving the fast life and calmly observing the natural progression of time made this clear. Everything I do, it needs to be for me — and not to satisfy the fears I hold of not being good enough and fast enough. I’m tapping into, drawing up to the surface, and abundantly expressing my uncrazy side. And my life and my business are going to be a hell of a lot more fun because of it.
Our growth can be so slow that it can often go unnoticed. The beginning of a new year (and a new decade, no less) seems like a good time to reflect on and to celebrate all that we have achieved in the year that has passed.
I’m taking this opportunity to celebrate my successes with you. If you feel so inclined, please use the comments to share and celebrate your success of 2009 with me and the group.
With no further a due, my year in review.
What I Wanted to Do in 2009
If you don’t believe that these were my goals for ’09, check out My Goals for This Year: Growing Innerpreneurship in 2009
- Begin Meditating Regularly
Achieved! I now meditate each morning for 15 min, with some exceptions. It took me well into September before I managed to make this a habit, and I give credit to Jamie Ridler, her awesome book club and the book, The Joy Diet, for getting my ass in gear.
- Generate a Sustainable Income from My Business, Elastic Mind
Achieved? Maybe? I’m not really sure what the hell I meant when I set this goal as it seems horribly vague to me now. I can report that by June 2009 (approx. 1 year after Elastic Mind’s birth) I started making more money each month than I was spending. Saying that, I’m still a ways off from 1. paying off the debt I accrued from starting my business and 2. making enough money each month to do anything more than pay my costs.
- Complete and Launch My Business Website
Achieved x2! In March of 2009, I launched the other half of this website, covering how I could work with you. The site was much-obsessed-over and many-times-rewritten from my business conception in June 2008 to it’s eventual live launch in March 2009. I was happy with the site for approximately 3 months before I began developing the new one that launched this past November. Two new websites this past year is a testament to the growth I underwent in coming to understand my value and find my sweet spot. It’s also a testament to my craziness…
- Enjoy More Hobbies
Achieved! This past year was an important one for me in finding a better balance between my need to engage my mind, my body, my soul and my shadow self. I began practicing yoga at least two times a week, took up oil painting, began tap-dancing, and fed my freaky soul with travel to Nicaragua, France, Spain, Portugal and New York City.
- Develop More Daily Structure
Achieved but still a work-in-progress. At the beginning of 2009, I would jump out of bed each morning and run to my computer and sit there all day, often forgetting to move, to wash, or to eat. Yes, I am a dirty girl. By the end of 2009, I managed to clean myself up a bit and include 15 min of meditation each morn, a possible walk in the afternoon and the blocking off of three days each week to stay off my computer and simply write. I’ve still got more work to do in this department as I easily get distracted from this structure I’ve established.
- Tame My Inner Critic and Growing My Inner Kudos
Work-in-progress. The vile bitch upstairs seems to be getting bitchier… *sigh*. Anxiety brings out the perfectionist in me and owning a business is fucking scary shit.
- Improve and Grow Rise of the Innerpreneur
Achieved but still a work-in-progress. In 2009, I had the pleasure of:
- meeting many of my readers through comments on the blog, email conversations, phone calls, Twitter chats, and Google/Skype video chats.
- being interviewed on Ananda Leeke’s Go Green Sangha radio program.
- speaking in Lisbon on Innerpreneuring in May and connecting with Innerpreneurs at the conference.
- forming a tiny Toronto in-person Innerpreneur support group and connecting with Nathalie Lussier. Our third meeting is this Monday and I am happy to report that our small group is growing.
- guest writing for Intrinsic Online, Holistic Living, The Journal of Cultural Conversation, Examiner.com, and Creatuitive Coaching.
- seeing my writing grow and improve as I’ve become more comfortable using my voice and trusting in my ability to create value through my words.
photo by: Janet Moore-Coll
Creative Commons License photo credit: Samya_Photography
I’ve been back from Nicaragua one week today. I didn’t want to come home.
I felt like a million dollars but since I have been back, I feel depressed.
I sleep too much. I can’t write. The scenery makes melancholy.
The city life, perhaps even living in Canada, I now understand, is not what I need.
Nature, simplicity, sun, this is what I desire.
I feel stuck. I can’t leave. At least not now.
In the meantime, I need to find my joy once again. I need to escape from my post-travel blues. The haze I am in, it is blocking out Toronto’s beauty.
I’ve struggled for a week to summarize my trip to Nicaragua (pictures here), to put words to the multitude of feelings, experiences and realizations that I made while I was there. But I’ve given up. I can’t do it in one article. My hope is that all that I have experienced will be reflected in my writing. In this past week I have come to realize why travel is such a strong passion for me. The exhilaration of a change in perspective.
To me, the greatest gift that travel affords is the way it alters your perception. For it is hard to not be sucked in. It’s hard to not lose perspective. When all you know is what you know, it is hard to remember that there is a whole world outside of it.
Your life, your career, your family, your friends, your local community. This is your reality. These are the stories you hear. Some you connect with and some you don’t.
But yours is not the only perspective
There are stories all over the world that you would love.
Some you feel compelled to know better. You are drawn to them. Your reasons? Many. The food, the history, the nature, the challenge, the language, the colours, the culture…they are endless.
Just dig into a country, a place that draws you and I bet you’ll be woo’ed. Learn about it. Read about it. Allow yourself to get lost in its stories.
Experience the exhilaration of a change in perspective
Take the step. Commit to leaving that which is comfortable for that which is unknown. It’s scary but it is incredibly fulfilling.
You can take the time away. If you want you can even do business or pleasure via the web almost anywhere.
You can afford it. Think of it as an investment in inspiration. I learned so much about wealth while I was gone. I can’t wait to share it with you.
You will be safe. I always worry about that each country I travel to. But each time I travel I am overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers.
You will be comfortable. Just go to a place that you are drawn to. You’ll find home.